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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Masdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 545
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 631



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots Masdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I had been walking on candy canes
    and sticking to the red line that wraps around the stem
    trying not to stand still
    or fall


    It was a sweet walk
    As the sun beat down

    The lines between red and white began to smear underneath my feet

    "s" miles or red ribbon wound around and tapered off into a horizon I could see upside down
    and again
    right side up

    Light came from every plane
    In a world inside a world
    walking on
    a perspective so tiny
    time or season
    made no difference to me




    Submitted on 2011-07-05 10:13:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed this a lot. I too like the surreality of the candystripe world (just trying to say it differently from snacky fish). Did the stripes ever merge into pink or just get melty and psychedelic?


    Light came from every plane
    In a world inside a world
    walking on
    a perspective so tiny
    time or season
    made no difference to me

    That's my favourite part. I think this is great as a poem and doesn't need to be expanded, but that's just me.

    I hope all is well,
    Amy

    | Posted on 2011-07-06 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      This like a surreal candyland type dream. It would be cool to see you take this theme and turn it into short story of sorts.
    | Posted on 2011-07-05 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]


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