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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: -do not disturb-dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Syn
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 115/136/83
    Words: 283
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 770
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1833



    Description:
       trying to say a timid hello to my future therapist...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots-do not disturb-dots
    -------------------------------------------


    talking to her
    last night, in her voice
    with no scrap of reason
    remaining to reason with

    in her musings of hotel rooms
    and of her mistakes
    not the one right in front of her
    not the one she can change
    oh, but she's blaming the cat
    -for sensing the danger
    and blaming the conscience
    of the strangers that saved her

    yeah, she's still gonna die
    and i won't know the when
    but i'll know all of the why
    and there's no word to sigh
    no words at all and
    i can speak 'til she dies
    or until just before and
    that'll be fine
    for her, not for me
    when my defense is bereft
    when she has already left
    yeah, she's still gonna die

    i can't believe you told me how
    next time you won't tell a soul
    no, you won't tell me and
    no one will know and
    you'll be dead and
    apparently happy
    all alone in a room not your own
    all alone in a room not your own
    and i'll still be here to think about
    everything you want to forget

    you won't stop poisoning
    your ever-fretful mind and
    you won't listen to me and
    you won't leave him alone and
    it's all gonna kill you again

    yeah, she's still gonna die
    and i won't know the when
    but i'll know all of the why
    and before she cuts the ties
    i want it in her own words
    the whole scope of our worlds
    scripted by the very hand
    that provides her demise
    i definitely want her to cry
    as she writes my goodbye
    yeah, she's still gonna die




    Submitted on 2011-07-05 13:47:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is very deep, it made me thoughtful and the title goes well with it. Thanks for posting this was a wonderful read :)


    Althea~
    | Posted on 2011-07-26 00:00:00 | by AltheaLaochra | [ Reply to This ]
      yes, i still like very much---and moreso now i see clearly a battle within self...one part loving someone who is poison, bad for her...and therapy is working on that self to die...but the memory will be with the other self...
    one of those things we often use in therapy..."part of me wants to..."
    "part of me feels" "that part of me died, but the memory, the pain of loving someone who hurt me...that lives on"
    that may be off the mark...but it gives me that sense....

    and yes. "do not disturb" while i do this...

    and yes, i could also see the speaker trying to become as detached as possible to a friend who is bound and determine to commit suicide...it rings of that too...you may be gone, you may kill yourself so that you no longer have to live with your pain...but there will still be the pain of your memory for me.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-07-07 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      yes, better! tighter...
    | Posted on 2011-07-05 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      this is like self-therapy...a conversation with self...an argument a longing to be told what the other half is thinking and doing...

    like a more confused sylvia plath...the part of her that wants to live opposing the side of her that wants to die...

    there is much emotion here, although i would like to see it condensed a bit for stronger effect...tends to ramble a bit long ....

    just a tightening...smart cat..

    and i like the room line repeated...

    and the title is interesting.."do not disturb" could be like...let me alone in my disturbia...i am quite fine thank you! let me just be crazy in love and driving myself mad with it...it is how i choose to be.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-07-05 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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