Disclaimer: This isnt me talking; this is my hearts annoying thoughts that are bubbling up. Maybe if she lets them out it would be good for her. She has never been the brightest so take what she says with a grain of salt.
A still moment where I let the silence and peace rush in, I dont try and tell myself what to think or fight off the feelings that climb my hearts walls.
What is this? Honesty at its best?
Apparently I miss you, or I mean she does.
This is really her speaking; my hearts deeper thoughts so dont blame me for what they say.
When you get up to go after holding me every night for a weekend straight, something catches in my throat a strange ache. I guess she wishes that you would stay and not have to go back to your state.
After our runs together when we fly like the wind and you kiss me all sweaty at the end, she gets all a twitter.
Apparently it meant something to her when you taught me how to stand up to my family, fixed my bike, took me to Chicago, taught me how to store lettuce in the fridge without it going bad and were not only able to handle my baggage but push me to be better...to run faster.
I asked her if she just wanted more from you, but no; she has been whispering things to me of wanting all of you.
I know, I told you she was not the brightest.
Thinking that she wants to move to Atlanta to be with you, and just find a way to make it work and follow you around wherever you will go.
She is trying to convince me that it would work, that it is time to just walk away from all my family and friends and start over.
Its just her childish dreams that something like that could happen and actually last.
She is not the first heart to feel like this and run with it.
I know you would be all for this, and if I am not careful, I start to get wistful to go to a home at night, our home.
I could desire training for a marathon with you, I could desire the weekend bike rides through the city.
I could desire your hand in mind, and the sex - well that speaks for itself.
I wont listen to her, because 50% of marriages end in divorce, I'm sure there is someone better for me that I should be waiting on, someone who fits my little rules of what I need, or rather what my family tells me I need.
You would love to make me all yours, but I have these fears, that crawl up my throat from my stomach and wont let me breathe when I think of saying - Yes - but when, when I think of saying no, and you letting me go...
Oh heart, stop your crying!