[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: would you be?dots

    Author: w0ords
    Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 30/20/19
    Words: 278
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 432
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1727


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswould you be?dots

    Would you be my girlfriend?
    Ill begin and you got the end
    Wouldnít care on what you wear
    As long as you dare to bare
    Your heart, that is

    Before you answer
    Let me show it in a playful manner
    To convince a certain coincidence
    You might be the one
    And Iím not yet done
    Take it off and show me
    Your clothes? No no no no
    If you want to know
    Put it on a show
    Your mind, that is

    Taking a risk to frisk here
    Wonít diss to get a kiss
    Hope I wonít miss with this
    Letís continue with the show
    Watching it on the front seat
    Is where I sit
    Enough to hear you here my dear
    Your words, that is

    You walked, each step you toke
    To blaze wait to gaze
    You in so much depts
    Not a closer step, perfect
    To discover a level of admiration
    On a sweet duration and not to mention
    The short sensation of slow paced tension
    On this dimension and enough of my wicked
    After the show, Iíll be outside just to see
    WhatĎs inside
    Your soul, that is

    Glowing, flowing beauty
    Captures me in the hour of three
    Now will you be for me?
    Almost at the last part
    This could be the depart
    Still Iíll explore you, every part of you
    From top to bottom, summer till autumn
    Your life, that is

    Should I go on? Or should I stop?
    Drop everything on the floor
    And I still adore you
    Enough of this word bore
    Will wait for your answer
    So please do remember
    Your decision, that is

    Submitted on 2011-07-11 08:25:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I love this!! I love how when you begin to read it, it sounds like hormonal, lustful love but then the last few lines of each stanza tell the reader that it goes deeper than that. This is the kind of love few attain or even want. Thanks for letting me know that I am not alone or a fool for wanting this kind of love.
    | Posted on 2011-08-10 00:00:00 | by beautywithin3 | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful poem. It talks of a type of love, that most would not understand. My favorite verse is:

    "gazing on your luscious beauty
    captures my till the hour of three
    now, will you be for me?
    achieving the last part, maybe a depart
    i will still explore you, every part of you
    top to bottom, summer till autumn
    your life, that is"

    | Posted on 2011-07-12 00:00:00 | by lynn7 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Incubus written by monad
    Linger written by saartha
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by Chelebel
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Push written by JanePlane
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    This written by Chelebel
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Giving written by jjd
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]