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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Murder Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: GhiHaD
    ASL Info:    22/Male/Australia
    Elite Ratio:    2.84 - 46/64/24
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 936
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 379



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


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    dotsMurder Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    Murder me
    Make me feel alive
    Souls are everchanging
    As if on the edge of a knife

    Why am i here?
    What must i demand?
    I love the way you hold me
    You ease the suffering i withstand

    Do my feelings scare you?
    Our chosen life flutters away
    Admist the pain and triumph
    Love is to cease the day




    Submitted on 2004-07-29 23:47:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      a classic ABCB rhyme structure. used fairly well with a secondary concern for rhyme, emphasis being on content here. That fits the piece well, kind of insenuates a realness that shouts "hey i don't care if it doesn't rhyme, this is the word." I like it, well done.
    | Posted on 2004-07-30 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]
      whoa...pretty gripping stuff...the first two lines had me from hellol..."murder me/ make me feel alive...man this is really good...minimal and powerful...great job!
    | Posted on 2004-07-30 00:00:00 | by Kristina9178 | [ Reply to This ]


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