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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Blow Outdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 324
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 471
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1932



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlow Outdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Have drawn a lot out from underneath the wheels of my car

    on the way back up my back popped
    and for a moment I was paralyzed,
    a statue in a parking lot
    waiting on the sun
    to melt me

    can't think of anything to say at the moment,
    I murmer to this one and that one
    they can tell I am distracted
    not focused or
    attentive to
    questions
    problems
    concerns

    I don't know because I had the hardest time listening

    for a moment while I am waiting here in this parking lot
    I HAVE to slow down
    I HAVE to see the man approaching me asking me what church I attend if any
    and when I reply asking if I would like to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior
    what do I say?
    To that?
    I say I did that already

    I laugh because my boyfriend asks if he wanted money
    and I said no, he wanted us to convert to Christianity
    and he says I think he was looking at me
    I said he looked at us both he had wonky eyes
    That part is true
    but to mess with my fellow I told him that
    the holy spirit guided him to come talk to us
    he says
    "for real?"
    yea GOD told him to come talk to us.
    He just didn't know what else to say
    he says,
    wow that's amazing

    Then a truck slows down,
    "hey you wanna buy this 14carrot necklace, thirty dollars, bargain!"
    I have ten
    Says my bf
    You can get this BRACELET for ten
    says the man
    bf walks toward the car
    Where is the Jesus guy when you need him?

    I love you.
    I do.
    This is the best place to be.
    I will always love this place, this life these times.
    And I just can't help loving and loving and being loved.




    Submitted on 2011-07-15 14:07:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      funny, this reminded me of the first time i bought a pack of smokes at 13. this man walked up to my friend and i just as we lit up.
    his question: do you know Jesus Christ? as soon as we heard that, our cigs dropped and we put them out. he then proceeded to say: all you need to do is accept Jesus into your heart and you will be saved. that's all you need to do.

    oddly enough, that night i did. i think the alternative seemed much worse (the hell and damnation part of it). at least at 13 it did.

    but to your piece... i like the way this moves across the page. how thoughts interact with what is happening around you. it kept my attention. yup. it did.

    anyhoo...



    | Posted on 2011-08-24 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice - flow of thought, some conscious some subconscious. In and out of dream. Well laid metaphors. I felt like I was there in the parking lot. Why are the only words in all caps are HAVE, GOD, and BRACELET?
    | Posted on 2011-07-18 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really neat, the way you describe these little interactions with strangers in such an intricate way.

    There is a lot of inspiration to be drawn from life, we just have to capture these moments in our minds!

    Good write.
    | Posted on 2011-07-15 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]


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