[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Dissonancedots

    Author: metallichick786
    ASL Info:    32/F/Cali
    Elite Ratio:    2.79 - 78/85/52
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 897
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1020


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I held in my hands a soul, withered, worthless.
    It faintly reminiscent of what life used to be
    A luminescent glow of misery and Ecstasy
    I realize my tears pooling into my cupped hands
    Woes and anger flood over me like a sickness

    Once so raw, so pure, now meaningless
    I am haunted by my own presence
    An unsettling taste burned into my palette
    My entity becomes completely numb.
    My mind becomes taken over by symphonies

    Peace becomes me, my body drained of anger
    I don't hesitate, I move with the time into darkness
    I become unattached to anything earthly
    My body turns to ash and I rise
    All facets of normality erased, "ah Lacrimosa!"

    I belong to nothing now
    A remarkable energy faceless
    No body, no soul just mind
    I soar through space effortless
    Alone I am safe, "Ah Lacrimosa!"

    Submitted on 2011-07-16 15:59:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i like the dissonance idea and lots of the lines in this...but somehow am a bit let down in spots...like the symphony line...love that idea but would like to see it extended into a second and maybe third line describing the feeling..

    there are other spots...you bring up such good images..but then stop short of illuminating them a little more...where we could put more visuals and feel the poem even more.

    | Posted on 2011-07-16 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Music is a great escape and or outlet for stress.

    I like this write not because its dark, but because I think its more about how music and set you free.
    | Posted on 2011-07-16 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]