Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mr. Brittle Bones & Ms. Head Shotdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: snacky fish
    ASL Info:    31/male/FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 377/472/111
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 500
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 723



    Description:
       Another Mr. Brittle Bones poem. Just a character I drempt up and write about once in a while.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMr. Brittle Bones & Ms. Head Shotdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Insidious and morose
    Is Mr. Brittle Bones bitter ghost
    A skeleton once was he
    Able to frown, freak, and flee

    That was until
    His brains took a little spill
    Spattered about and around
    With out a shot or a sound

    Now an apparition like mist
    With out finger or fist
    Too shake or flick
    No bones to clack or click

    It was Ms. Head Shot
    Well armed, deadly, and hot
    One pull of her feather trigger
    She made his head less bigger

    Poor Mr. Brittle Bones's head
    With out it he's quiet and dead
    Yet he still wonders the most
    Could Ms. Head Shot ever love a ghost?




    Submitted on 2011-07-16 17:49:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "My morbid heart loves this"
    That's a quote from you lol

    I only saw this when I clicked your profile. It's like your poems aren't showing up or something. Weird. I'll check back often, though.
    | Posted on 2011-07-22 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]
      Fun and dark, love it. It flows nicely, rolls right off the tongue.
    It lacks defined imagery and is short, but still very well written.

    Keep up the good work and I'll keep reading.

    H
    | Posted on 2011-07-16 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]
      reminds me of a line in "the outsiders"

    matt dillon as Dallas said it..."man, that girl hates me...do you think she might like me a little?"

    the love hate relationships we sometimes have...there is love but so much friction we just can't live together...and one or the other of the pair will shoot the other down...blow them away with words...

    end the relationship...

    not literally...but i feel this piece is meant figuratively....nice humor in it.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-07-16 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191681

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry