Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To the lady of my dreamsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Clayman
    ASL Info:    28 - getting late
    Elite Ratio:    6.34 - 609/327/167
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 451
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 723



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo the lady of my dreamsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My face awoke to morning's stroke
    amongst thoughts fleeting,
    bathed in a soft hue.
    I'll caress these thoughts by name,
    they speak of You.

    Today will be another question-mark
    stamped to my soul,
    a need unfulfilled..
    I crave to know, to feel whole..
    My mind trembles,
    deaf to the truth
    I yearn to hear you speak.

    I think you are unique.

    And I wonder,
    do your thoughts ever dance
    when you think of rain?
    Do your eyes ever meet mine
    the same way?
    I'm still here, waiting..

    Will you speak today?

    -Svw




    Submitted on 2011-07-19 10:00:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like this. I know this girl, a friend of mine, and lately I've woken up on several mornings now thinking of her. I think I should really do something but I'm afraid I'll ruin our friendship and that's too important to me... Anyway, good writing!
    | Posted on 2011-07-19 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      feels much tighter now....like the changes.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-07-19 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      longing expressed pretty well...

    "mornings'" should be "morning's"

    the wording is a bit common...not so fresh in itself...but the way you use it here...almost works in its simplicity...because this is a baring of feelings.
    i like the "thoughts dancing in the rain" part.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-07-19 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191708

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry