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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Secret Lightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Astarael
    ASL Info:    18/Girl/Baltimore
    Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 79/84/28
    Words: 187
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 401
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1273



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Secret Lightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    There's a knock at the door.
    The light wants to come in
    But you won't let it.

    Your shades are drawn tight.
    The light wants to shine in,
    But you forget it.

    The wisdom of the sages
    Creeps through the cracks in your walls
    But you seal them tight
    Ignoring visions
    That come to you in the night.

    I need no crystal ball to know
    How you bolt upright in your bed
    Cold sweat streaming down your head.
    Fumbling in the darkness.

    Answer my call
    And let the truth resound in your ears.
    The Chosen can't ignore
    The gifts of the prophets.

    Turn your course
    And meet my eye.
    Grasp my hand hard
    Though you want to run.

    Release the sights crowding your mind
    And accept this quest:
    'Be true to thy God.
    Be true to thyself.'

    We will trek through the desert.
    Until our parched lips beg for mercy.
    And journey
    To where the sea meets the horizon.

    The Creator's special few.
    Must accept their heavy burden.
    But discover its reward.

    Behold the secret light.




    Submitted on 2004-07-30 01:05:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is superb. From title to the very last lines. You did an excellent job. Also I have to say and am most impressed with the fact that your only 14. Holy Crap. Do you realise the kind of poetry your peers are writing kid??? This is excellent. Keep up the good work!
    | Posted on 2004-08-06 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]
      hi! the message is great and you deliver it in a unique way...i like it 'cause i can picture out something it's like telling me a scene...however i think u should work in your rhyme scheme...it's just a little mistake though...in a rate of ten it will be nine...i just love the meaning and i think it's the thought that counts...
    meh
    jen
    | Posted on 2004-07-30 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
      haaayyyy
    the ryhme scheme gets a little weird for me. i think i lost it. haha!
    but other than that, really nice poem. i like this one better than the last one. i think i understand it more. it starts out as this intense moment, and it turns into something that you would probably read in those fantasy books you like to read.
    sweet,
    Danielle
    | Posted on 2004-07-30 00:00:00 | by Kalidoscopeeyes | [ Reply to This ]



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