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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: creepingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: gothicgirl
    ASL Info:    23/f/recreant world
    Elite Ratio:    3.49 - 127/111/48
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 782
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1001



    Description:
       Theres lots of things in my head I am just trying to get out.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscreepingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    So many things I never bothered to think through
    Losing sight, a reality that with each lie grew
    A swallowed pain, a shattered heart
    A truth I’ve always known from the start.

    I felt lost, confused and ugly deep inside
    A never ending cycle where life applied
    Everything turned upside down
    As each memory disappeared behind every sound.

    Life sucks and then we die
    And then it sucks some more while we cry
    And as our tears collide with pain
    A slow spiral into hell is where our truths remain.

    Our senses fail, left deaf, and blind
    But when there’s nothing left, what’s left to find?
    But a bitter taste is bitter sweet
    Much like there’s no shadows on empty streets.

    Darkness creeps into a person’s soul
    Twisting and turning, it takes its toll
    Weathered and ageing it takes hold
    Falling deeper as it spirals uncontrolled.




    Submitted on 2011-07-24 00:16:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
       YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

    THIS IZ A FU KN BOMB DROPPING !!! :}
    -----


    THIK I SHOU CHOP MY WRITING HAND OFF

    u r tha cake .... ///

    itz so emotional
    on such a infinity leave

    the personal way the piece made me feel(2)

    1. ME being a male - it ?'s my fatherhood

    2. a fear of everyone has already abandond us

    keep pen-ing [all of us]
    ~bloodstone

    | Posted on 2011-08-02 00:00:00 | by Bloodstone | [ Reply to This ]
      Well written from a soul in torment. That is how you come through in this poem.
    As a person who had to live until now because I chose to. I have little or actually regrets so far.
    The path of the Darkness of my “Self” have I walked. After some years at that mingled with the Light side of me, This Darkness side of me did no suit me at all only because that is not what I was created for.
    I turned to the Light side of me and felt comfortable.
    The Darkside did not like that at all because since I have no reality with it anymore. It cannot control me as in actual fact it never really did.

    I have smoked for 27 years because my wife did until one day in Dec 1990, I just donated my pipes - Kayser and Billfold mind you – and my special prepared sensed Cuban tobaccos – and my plated Zippo lighter of courses – to a black guy in the street.
    That was my extent with drugs – nicotine is actually a drug anyway.

    Very personally I never had sex as we know it, with any person except with my wife and only after we got married and while married with no other person what so ever. After she went in 1988 until today – nothing of the kind. I have learned that anything personally can be brought under control if one so wishes.
    And if I could do it so can you and everybody else. I am no saint and believe in the good of Life and people because we all are that.
    It is all in the Mind. I believe as Don Williams says in “I believe in you” and "It must be love".
    I share this with whoever reads it but especially for you.

    Take care life is worth living and you have to make it so. You an if you put your ind to it.

    Joachim

    | Posted on 2011-07-25 00:00:00 | by Joachim | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, although I can't totally relate to it. I think I'm in love right now. :) Good job anyway!

    How old were you in that picture? You're not 20 I know that, my caution meter is ticking. :)
    | Posted on 2011-07-24 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well. The flow was a bit choppy, but the imagery and emotion portrayed was magnificent. Reading this, I imagined it being written with tears instead of ink on wishes instead of paper.
    This was a fantastic write.

    Keep up the great work and I'll keep reading.

    »H«
    | Posted on 2011-07-24 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree with snacky fish...sometimes gets cliché..but lots to like...the second stanza stood out for me...
    a very sad write showing so little hope...it is inevitable...

    as we grow older our heart becomes darkness..until there is no light left.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-07-24 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      If I could, I would give you a hug.

    This write is sad and pain filled. A few parts are good and some parts are cliché.

    "Life sucks and then we die
    And then it sucks some more while we cry"

    cliché.

    "But a bitter taste is bitter sweet
    Much like there’s no shadows on empty streets."

    Good, use imagery and such poetic things to relate your pain upon a page.

    Ryhming alone is not enough to make sadness beautiful.


    | Posted on 2011-07-24 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    191776

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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