[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Nextdots

    Author: Zai
    ASL Info:    24/m/US
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 66/145/98
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 696
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 968

       I'm, uh. Still learning about the paths of life.

    The beat transitions might be hard to latch on to, but other then that... Good luck.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I have a yearning, a burning for finding my place.
    I'm twisting and turning and looping and learning,
    that earning this life is not a race.
    That's not the case, to leave my trace,
    to start from base, become encased
    And interlace at the pinacle.
    Grow cynical, it's trivial and crimminal
    typical that I'd need a miracle,
    not etheral, just a visual stimulant.
    Emotional and imminent,
    A dissonance of relevance,
    A trumpet call like filiment,
    Militant but reverant.
    Not defense but balance and checks,
    a complex built on respect,
    an Eye open, concave built on convex.
    Centered around a truth that connects,
    A truth that see's Next without the blinders of hoping,
    without telescoping to selfish and loathing,
    And moping and groping and searching and curbing
    the burning and yearning to find my place.

    Submitted on 2011-07-24 06:22:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Yah know...This kinda sounds like more of a rap to me...lol ya I was weird and rapped it out loud :)
    | Posted on 2013-11-01 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]
      I dunno this looks more like a song than poetry to me. The rhyming seems a bit forced in some parts. Rhymes shouldn't be a reason in itself but rather just a vehicle to get the message across and keep the reader entertained imo...
    | Posted on 2011-07-24 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      life is not a race, it is a steady movement, a steady pulse....

    more or less like this poem has....which is a very good thing...

    clever beat...the end rhyme and in rhyme creates a circle of sound encasing the reader in thoughts....where to next? there is truth around the line, behind the next syllable? perhaps.

    | Posted on 2011-07-24 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    True Death written by layDsayD
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Bond written by saartha
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Wavelength written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    AI written by poetotoe
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Every..... written by jackz
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Linger written by saartha
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]