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    dots Submission Name: Nextdots

    Author: Zai
    ASL Info:    24/m/US
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 66/145/98
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 666
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 968

       I'm, uh. Still learning about the paths of life.

    The beat transitions might be hard to latch on to, but other then that... Good luck.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I have a yearning, a burning for finding my place.
    I'm twisting and turning and looping and learning,
    that earning this life is not a race.
    That's not the case, to leave my trace,
    to start from base, become encased
    And interlace at the pinacle.
    Grow cynical, it's trivial and crimminal
    typical that I'd need a miracle,
    not etheral, just a visual stimulant.
    Emotional and imminent,
    A dissonance of relevance,
    A trumpet call like filiment,
    Militant but reverant.
    Not defense but balance and checks,
    a complex built on respect,
    an Eye open, concave built on convex.
    Centered around a truth that connects,
    A truth that see's Next without the blinders of hoping,
    without telescoping to selfish and loathing,
    And moping and groping and searching and curbing
    the burning and yearning to find my place.

    Submitted on 2011-07-24 06:22:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Yah know...This kinda sounds like more of a rap to me...lol ya I was weird and rapped it out loud :)
    | Posted on 2013-11-01 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]
      I dunno this looks more like a song than poetry to me. The rhyming seems a bit forced in some parts. Rhymes shouldn't be a reason in itself but rather just a vehicle to get the message across and keep the reader entertained imo...
    | Posted on 2011-07-24 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      life is not a race, it is a steady movement, a steady pulse....

    more or less like this poem has....which is a very good thing...

    clever beat...the end rhyme and in rhyme creates a circle of sound encasing the reader in thoughts....where to next? there is truth around the line, behind the next syllable? perhaps.

    | Posted on 2011-07-24 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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