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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Phoenix dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: beautywithin3
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 2/2/3
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Legend
    Total Views: 899
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 776



    Description:
       This is about freeing yourself from the criticism of others and allowing yourself to love who you really are and not the reflection of yourself that others approve of. This is really open to interpretation as I was just letting my heart and soul pour out. Criticisms, thoughts, opinions welcome!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Phoenix dots
    -------------------------------------------


    There are words we don't give flight
    There are wounds we don't dress
    Our hearts may arrest
    But a fist we won't pry open

    Words left unsaid, what is said is misunderstood
    Slaying a dragon is no sorrow
    But to opening our hearts we say tomorrow

    The arrows of others' criticism we fear
    To speak out of turn, oh what a sin!
    The shackles to which we bind ourselves restrict our freedom

    Let the Phoenix rise from the ashes
    Let creativity abound
    the marks of our limitations be silenced

    To be who we are should never be conjured
    What others see is just a reflection
    No need to be a drone to match the current fashion




    Submitted on 2011-07-24 17:21:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I find this art you have created very well presented. I extreamly relate to what you have said. It is true that in life we all play puppets to society or even our loved ones. I write about it all the time. It is so depressing to me that we all go through what you have written and never change a thing in our lifes. Every one reads into poetry or other creations differently and i definitly enjoyed this. I do not know if you created it with alot of emotions but i got alot of emotions out of it. Beautifully written.

    Death-
    | Posted on 2011-07-25 00:00:00 | by DeathTone | [ Reply to This ]
      the allusions to the dragon, the arrow, the phoenix are all really good...and the last line is a kicker...

    i like this piece a lot...

    would like to see a thread throughout to tighten it up a bit, content-wise...

    but lots to like...one other suggestion...

    let the poem speak for itself...no need for so much description..allow the reader to ponder the poem and see what he or she extracts from it.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-07-24 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191781

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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