Ello there! So youíre the ones asking about olíKevin aye? Well first, let me introduce myself. It is solely your pleasure to be in the presence of Split Eye OíRourke. Darn near the scariest thing to hit the high seas since that bearded bloke.
KevinÖ, yeah he could be my first mate, but heís way too much of a family man to be terrorizing the high seas with me. Asked him once, ifín he wanted to pillage a few towns or burn a couple of ships and you wonít believe what he said. He says, ďLet me ask my wife but I donít think she will let me though.Ē Yep I couldnít believe it either. Donít go telling that lass heís married to I was complaining about it. She can brew up a gail wind harder and faster than that Triton fellow. Ifín you know what I mean.
To let a little light on this fellow, Kevin, I could give you some basic friendship type information, but nothing to incriminating mind you. Heís from a land that sets just off the banks of the raging Ohio River. Not to many pirate ships sail threw Kentucky so he struck up a conversation with me at a local pub. Says he was an aspiring writer or storyteller. Trying to explore the many wonders of the human mind and from the looks of me I was a good place to start. To hear Kevin tell it, a good story is the only thing that keeps his raft above the waves, ifín you get my meaning.
Only known him for a short time but seems like only yesterday he sat with me and my mates telling us some of his stories. You will have to understand a man like Kevin is not satisfied just telling stories. He wants to write them down for everyone to enjoy. Only draw back is his grammar, he writes like a blasted heathen. So he is taking a writing course to help him along the way.
Why I can remember when I was attending pirating etiquette classes on the high seasÖwhy are you gawking at me like that? Oh, I get it. You donít believe a bandana wearing, shirtless, ear pierced, tattooed sailor like me ever attended any civilized training. The jokes on you scurvy dog, cause pirate school ainít civilized.
If you keep ruffling my feathers it ainít going to be pretty. Throw you in the gallows to rot. Take you out on my ship, like I did Olí Kevin. Hold you at sword point on the plank like I did OlíKevin. But you wonít get off as lucky as he did. Oh thatís right you donít know yet. This Kevin fellow was such a good storyteller I made him stay aboard. Hahahahaha. By daylight he washes the deck and by nightlight he tells his wonderful tales of adventure. If you look down on my ship, that is him in the ragged clothes wearing the iron chains with no hope of ever escaping. Hahahahaha arrrrr.