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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lustdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Iram
    ASL Info:    25/F/from your world
    Elite Ratio:    2.66 - 50/62/55
    Words: 28
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 605
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 176



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLustdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Thy hair hides thy brain
    Thy breast hides thy heart
    Thy walk hides thy path
    When thee nude for once
    No veil of feelings can
    Cover thou again.




    Submitted on 2011-07-26 09:29:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi reads well. Good composition. First poem? Let it flow poet let it flow. Joachim
    | Posted on 2011-07-28 00:00:00 | by Joachim | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this very much but have a couple of suggestions. Hide should be hides in the first line. I read the third line better as But once thee are nude. Great concept.
    | Posted on 2011-07-26 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the metaphors and this poem speak truth about 'Hiding ones feelings' its cool how you mixed it sexuality (Lust) very creative. and I agree With Jacob as well :)

    Althea~
    | Posted on 2011-07-26 00:00:00 | by AltheaLaochra | [ Reply to This ]
      we all need to get nude...shed the weary clothes of facade...let ourselves be seen, quit playing games and be honest....

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-07-26 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice. It's like replacing all of these flaws, with beauty and covering up the bad with sex.

    "Thy walk hides thy path"

    Paying attention to the way someone walks instead of where they are heading, a fabrication of lust.
    | Posted on 2011-07-26 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]


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