[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: i'd let you do it againdots

    Author: allmine
    ASL Info:    25/chick/your nightmares
    Elite Ratio:    2.52 - 33/69/45
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 852
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 816


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsi'd let you do it againdots

    kiss me softly
    hold me in your arms
    just one last time
    lie to me again
    and tell me you love me
    let me fall asleep on your chest
    just one more time
    let me gaze into your beautiful blue eyes
    let me believe all the lies you ever whispered to me
    just like i did all the years before
    one last time i will watch you walk out of my life
    one last time i will shed another tear for you
    one last time i will use that blade to carve our story

    one last time remember you did this to me
    you stole my heart and shattered it
    you lied to me for years
    and i still chose to believe you
    even though i knew i shouldn't
    but i still want that one last time
    to allow you to do it all again

    Submitted on 2011-07-28 15:59:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i don't know why but why but as i starting reading your piece it feels like a song. i even have a slow beat playing on my head. its a simple and yet deep piece. it makes me feel the experience you had. from the joy to the sadness and yet you wont even mind letting it happen again. i still feel the strength in you from your piece.
    | Posted on 2011-08-01 00:00:00 | by w0ords | [ Reply to This ]
      Was he that good? :) I dunno, you definitely got the inspiration and right mindset to do this yet you still need some training. Try reading some stuff from people that post since the old days on this site. Like me! :) Just joking. Also a good poet that I would recommend is T.S. Eliot. Try reading his stuff and concentrate on the way he uses language as a tool and not a distraction...

    Anyway. keep on writing!
    | Posted on 2011-07-29 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]