I think that these lines alone says volumes and I really really like this idea.
That not only is this pain something that was crafted but it was PRE engineered, oh I just love that. You have caught on to a truth in this line, or observed something that lies underneath the surface. That you have stumbled onto something you take seriously, and it is not a game to you.
Very well said.
This piece carries all the emotion,longing for something that cant be righted,a loss either in death or in complications of affective origins. Like it. Just wish it hard been longer. Hey grammar and spelling errors are big deals. Cause the former affects the way ur audience appreciates the central theme of ur piece. I feel spellings can distract .that is misspellings.
there are some nice thoughts, but it is not about being a grammar nazi...
when poems have misspellings and grammar mistakes, it takes away from the impact of the piece...and as short as poems usually are...lack of editing or caring about it, usually indicates careless writing...
obviously we are human and there will be typos we might miss..but...contractions in this need apostrophes..."won't" "can't"
doesn't take much to proofread..and all the effort of thought and creativity you show may be appreciated much more....