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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Temp Servicesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 688
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 858



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTemp Servicesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    sages and writers and tall tale bearing wearers all have their version
    of that weight that is carried on our shoulders

    They all speak of that whisper in the wind
    commentate on that flicker of light that rattles through the burning amber arms of the chandeliers floating above your head

    The truth is just as simple as it is complicated
    to those who have the time to break it down

    Let the shadows cross the sea
    and the morning light tell her tale
    my perspective feels long and drawn out in my head
    stretching coarse hands across
    the pressured valleys bubbling over with
    loaded inquiries and observations
    that just seem to build mountains
    of mud

    I can say that I have heard a lot about a lot from a lot of people who are dead now




    Submitted on 2011-08-02 09:12:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a great piece. I love:

    Let the shadows cross the sea
    and the morning light tell her tale
    my perspective feels long and drawn out in my head
    stretching coarse hands across
    the pressured valleys bubbling over with
    loaded inquiries and observations
    that just seem to build mountains
    of mud

    Well, like a visual artist, I think a poet is worth more dead. Your publishers can put out your complete poems and critics can look at your work as a whole.

    To be critical, "whisper in the wind" and "flicker of light" might not be the freshest way to convery those ideas.

    Amy
    | Posted on 2011-08-04 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      think i'm bleeding

    that was very sharp
    right on target

    feel as -- -
    we're NOT all blind-- very wise of U

    this is win - smiling ORIGINAL

    very good write

    | Posted on 2011-08-03 00:00:00 | by Bloodstone | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm I like the feel that this poem gave me, this is nicely penned :)

    My fav lines-

    sages and writers and tall tale bearing wearers all have their version


    They all speak of that whisper in the wind
    commentate on that flicker of light that rattles through the burning amber arms of the chandeliers floating above your head

    The truth is just as simple as it is complicated
    to those who have the time to break it down


    :)

    Althea~
    | Posted on 2011-08-02 00:00:00 | by AltheaLaochra | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. It feels so mature for your age. That's a good thing. A poet is on the forefront of emotion, of thought, you should always strive to break down boundaries. Keep on writing!
    | Posted on 2011-08-02 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      i guess poets are all like temps...it's our job while we are here, but only temporary...we tell the story of our generation, we are meant to do that...nothing is permanent...but we hope our words might out last us...

    lots of dead poets we still read.

    this is a cool poem
    \

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-08-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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