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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Criticismdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Iram
    ASL Info:    25/F/from your world
    Elite Ratio:    2.66 - 50/62/55
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 533
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 721



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCriticismdots
    -------------------------------------------


    To write and to do what
    To recieve alot of thumbs up
    To say a lot of thank you
    To tray the words with a cup

    Then to see the scentful
    The shades of whim and purity
    Or words of stiff reality
    Are mashed in your clap, o see!

    To speak and to do what
    To hover in a quiet sink
    To explain, agree n flee
    To eat up a critic's blink

    Then to feel our self love
    In words, is rusted and blown
    And our one true vantage
    And our self is gone

    The wind; the world of criticism
    Scrolls the words of only soul
    Like on tree does winter veil
    By rolling leaves on head n tail




    Submitted on 2011-08-02 14:26:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
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    | Posted on 2011-08-03 00:00:00 | by fanky | [ Reply to This ]
      a critic's blink...

    yes, i like that line...

    poetry is something so personal and the poetic soul is sensitive, fragile, no doubt...

    and if our words are met with harsh criticism it can be disheartening...even if we want honesty from others...even if we want to keep improving our own words...if our poems get bashed it is like our soul getting bashed...

    and it causes the heart to drain...i guess there is a fine line between constructive and destructive criticism...i have always had a problem with the approach of rewriting pieces from the reader's perspective...i feel it should be more of a reaction to the piece rather than the goal to change it...

    yet obvious flaws which could be remedied in order for a piece to have more impact...that seems a good thing when pointed out...but lots is conveyed in the tone of the one doing the critiquing...

    and a gentle, encouraging spirit seems best..
    poetry is not a competition...

    i kind of see that reflected in this piece...i may be off the mark..but it is how this reads to me...

    4th stanza is interesting...our self is gone...

    that could have several meanings...we write our selves out in the poems..but also when our work is trashed we feel like we lose a bit of ourselves each time that happens...and it is crushing deep the inside..

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-08-03 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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    191962

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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