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    dots Submission Name: Leftover blood from a night well penneddots

    Author: OneDarkFlame92
    ASL Info:    23/m/Numeanor
    Elite Ratio:    5.3 - 461/425/227
    Words: 15
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 633
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 94

       See you guys Monday

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLeftover blood from a night well penneddots

    Defaced by the ink that scarred this very page....

    I am marked.

    Submitted on 2011-08-03 08:20:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I find I like this one very much. I have read it several time andat first the use of this very page seemed, a bit theatrical but, not so much, the more I got into it. And that is the thing about words when you read them or words whenyou write them... can they make the leap and

    convey, or become the state.

    And this poem does, imo. The more you read it the more it becomes the state. & that is primed by the title and begins from that very first

    i like...
    that the title is or seems a bit loose/casual.... or colloquial...

    that's important because as i read that first word it seems important to read it as a definite
    de faced. What I'm saying is that that word and that whole line, the tone you strike is measured, metrical and formal. it doesn't sprawl across the page it bites it up
    & in a formal way, which is why I think that this very page deal works.

    &, the fact that
    each word, as it takes the ground, becomes the actuality. That's skillful and very clever.

    & that's why could blah blah blah a bit
    about such a short poem.

    The cleverness is used
    so that
    I can feel the poem.

    It's not cleverness for clevernesses sake (how would one punctuate that?)

    and that's what I appreciate most here, the use of devices in order to emote.
    | Posted on 2011-08-13 00:00:00 | by theludus | [ Reply to This ]
      [I know this probably seems just a bit whimsical but the first thing I thought of was passing out on top of my notebook at some godawful hour when the caffeine stopped working one day and then walking around campus for half a day with the phrase 'my heart is dead to your pretend words' stamped on my forehead and cheek where the ink rubbed off (and not realizing it).

    Kept wondering why people were staring at me funny.]
    | Posted on 2011-08-04 00:00:00 | by ziska | [ Reply to This ]
      Warmed by the fire of my heart.. I am burning.

    Did you get a new tattoo?
    | Posted on 2011-08-03 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]
      i am the graffiti that makes up my own life's poem...
    | Posted on 2011-08-03 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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