I find I like this one very much. I have read it several time andat first the use of this very page seemed, a bit theatrical but, not so much, the more I got into it. And that is the thing about words when you read them or words whenyou write them... can they make the leap and
convey, or become the state.
And this poem does, imo. The more you read it the more it becomes the state. & that is primed by the title and begins from that very first
that the title is or seems a bit loose/casual.... or colloquial...
that's important because as i read that first word it seems important to read it as a definite
de faced. What I'm saying is that that word and that whole line, the tone you strike is measured, metrical and formal. it doesn't sprawl across the page it bites it up
& in a formal way, which is why I think that this very page deal works.
&, the fact that
each word, as it takes the ground, becomes the actuality. That's skillful and very clever.
& that's why could blah blah blah a bit
about such a short poem.
The cleverness is used
so that I can feel the poem.
It's not cleverness for clevernesses sake (how would one punctuate that?)
and that's what I appreciate most here, the use of devices in order to emote.
[I know this probably seems just a bit whimsical but the first thing I thought of was passing out on top of my notebook at some godawful hour when the caffeine stopped working one day and then walking around campus for half a day with the phrase 'my heart is dead to your pretend words' stamped on my forehead and cheek where the ink rubbed off (and not realizing it).
Kept wondering why people were staring at me funny.]