[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Knightingaledots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 43
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 629
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 287


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    How absolutely we were laying in each others arms
    whispering tradgedies and comedies

    Wearing nothing but metal armor that forced its way through our pores
    your sword comfortably resting on my thigh
    and my shield
    discarded at the foot of the bed

    Submitted on 2011-08-04 12:55:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      A vision nicely painted here. Alive and breathing. Passionate but subtle in how conveyed. The subtlety is the strength of this piece, as well as the words used to breathe into the imagery. Very good.
    | Posted on 2011-08-11 00:00:00 | by malcolmknight | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice work here. Erotic but not explicit. Terrific use of imagery.
    | Posted on 2011-08-11 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh... midevil and sexy.

    This is a very alluring poem. I love theme and metaphors.

    Well written.

    Makes me want to go seduce a LARPing girl.... lolz.
    | Posted on 2011-08-05 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]
      i just absolutely love this little piece...what a suggestion...the armor touching each other...

    one fix-up....first line.."we were lying in each other's arms"

    i thought of Hamlet and Ophelia at the play...and their conversation...

    "should i lay my head in your lap?"

    she says no..and he says.."do you think i meant country matters?"

    | Posted on 2011-08-04 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the imagery, particularly of the shield discarded. Even for the armor, sword and shield, this is a very sensual poem and that is what I like best of it. You should correct comedies however as the misspelling causes one to stop there instead of reading smoothly on.
    | Posted on 2011-08-04 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Push written by JanePlane
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Linger written by saartha
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]