Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Knightingaledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 43
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 566
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 287



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKnightingaledots
    -------------------------------------------


    How absolutely we were laying in each others arms
    whispering tradgedies and comedies

    Wearing nothing but metal armor that forced its way through our pores
    your sword comfortably resting on my thigh
    and my shield
    discarded at the foot of the bed




    Submitted on 2011-08-04 12:55:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A vision nicely painted here. Alive and breathing. Passionate but subtle in how conveyed. The subtlety is the strength of this piece, as well as the words used to breathe into the imagery. Very good.
    | Posted on 2011-08-11 00:00:00 | by malcolmknight | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice work here. Erotic but not explicit. Terrific use of imagery.
    | Posted on 2011-08-11 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh... midevil and sexy.

    This is a very alluring poem. I love theme and metaphors.

    Well written.

    Makes me want to go seduce a LARPing girl.... lolz.
    | Posted on 2011-08-05 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]
      i just absolutely love this little piece...what a suggestion...the armor touching each other...

    one fix-up....first line.."we were lying in each other's arms"

    i thought of Hamlet and Ophelia at the play...and their conversation...

    "should i lay my head in your lap?"

    she says no..and he says.."do you think i meant country matters?"

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-08-04 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the imagery, particularly of the shield discarded. Even for the armor, sword and shield, this is a very sensual poem and that is what I like best of it. You should correct comedies however as the misspelling causes one to stop there instead of reading smoothly on.
    | Posted on 2011-08-04 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191989

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The World written by jjd
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Love written by saartha
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Records I written by Raphael
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry