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    dots Submission Name: Knightingaledots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 43
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 566
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 287


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    How absolutely we were laying in each others arms
    whispering tradgedies and comedies

    Wearing nothing but metal armor that forced its way through our pores
    your sword comfortably resting on my thigh
    and my shield
    discarded at the foot of the bed

    Submitted on 2011-08-04 12:55:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      A vision nicely painted here. Alive and breathing. Passionate but subtle in how conveyed. The subtlety is the strength of this piece, as well as the words used to breathe into the imagery. Very good.
    | Posted on 2011-08-11 00:00:00 | by malcolmknight | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice work here. Erotic but not explicit. Terrific use of imagery.
    | Posted on 2011-08-11 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh... midevil and sexy.

    This is a very alluring poem. I love theme and metaphors.

    Well written.

    Makes me want to go seduce a LARPing girl.... lolz.
    | Posted on 2011-08-05 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]
      i just absolutely love this little piece...what a suggestion...the armor touching each other...

    one fix-up....first line.."we were lying in each other's arms"

    i thought of Hamlet and Ophelia at the play...and their conversation...

    "should i lay my head in your lap?"

    she says no..and he says.."do you think i meant country matters?"

    | Posted on 2011-08-04 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the imagery, particularly of the shield discarded. Even for the armor, sword and shield, this is a very sensual poem and that is what I like best of it. You should correct comedies however as the misspelling causes one to stop there instead of reading smoothly on.
    | Posted on 2011-08-04 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]

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