Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: complex #8dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: pioneerheart
    Elite Ratio:    4.51 - 204/205/140
    Words: 314
    Class/Type: Prose/Longing
    Total Views: 631
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 993



    Description:
       A good intention gets misconstrued...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscomplex #8dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I''ve been lost in a moment, trying to reach for a true to life. I can't catch on, no, can't catch up, to the butterfly. She's time, yeah, she's time. She's so divine. My fingers lock and she flutters away. And, I long for you to stay. How in the world would you explain, that you meant no pain? You came to my door and you dropped such a roar fancy, you, I adored. Yes, it be best that I bury this deep, but, sometimes, it's not that easy to bleed. It stays inside my cell stream. I wake up early with my mind alive, there's a terrible epiphany that makes my head think twice. Can't rest, can't feel the sense in what it means, just don't know what a fool forgives, at least the hook, be off of me. At least. So let us be off, at least the hook, please, please, be off of me.




    Submitted on 2011-08-05 03:21:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      when i call up the memories of you it is so painful....i like the telephone image...oh please be off the hook...the busy signal at least leaves me with the hope that when you finally answer, you may voice a positive about us...

    as it is...i regret so much but i can't take it back...time won't let me...it has floated and fluttered and flitted by...and somewhere i lost my net...the one i used to capture you...

    but i guess as they say..."if you love something, let it go, and if it is meant to be, it will come back to you"

    or maybe

    answer on the third ring with an accomdating "hello, i still love you."

    but then i am always the optimist...the "king of wishful thinking"

    this piece spoke to me..i like how and what you wrote.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-08-20 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192002

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry