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    dots Submission Name: Ancient angelsdots

    Author: Clayman
    ASL Info:    28 - getting late
    Elite Ratio:    6.34 - 609/327/167
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 503
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 979


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAncient angelsdots

    When we become designer modules programmed by society,
    will you listen to me then?
    Will you look into me and smile like I promised you would?

    When the final echo leaves your soul and you smile at the pristine haze growing within,
    will you think of my lipped verses and empty cups?
    Would you count my smiles and my teary curtains parted?

    When the lacing of reality fails to weave the pictures you prayed for and you choke on the light breaking your sins,
    will you think of me and my slender stroke on moments past?

    Would you sacrifice your fear for a taste of what could have been real?
    Would you paint my face on your heart's skin and let me turn it into scarlet pastel with ivory frame?

    Would you to rewind the memories and write it with another pen?
    Would you push it deep and pleasing under my skin and colorise my core with your fragile ink?


    Submitted on 2011-08-05 08:15:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is very different....need to digest it for awhile and come back to it...really liked the ending...society, technology...would you colorize me as if i were some classic black and white movie...if you did, it might ruin me....

    | Posted on 2011-08-06 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. The first part reminds me of a poem I wrote called Flesh ! Flesh ! Flesh ! Check it out you might enjoy it. I don't know about the ending though. I think that maybe you should concentrate on the penultimate line. Maybe making an analogy between rewinding memories and rewinding an old cassette with a pen. That would be a beautiful image. Anyway, It's good as it is too. Keep on writing!
    | Posted on 2011-08-05 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]

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