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    dots Submission Name: Devil's Rainbow Revisiteddots

    Author: TiaanK
    ASL Info:    37/M/Dancing in the dark
    Elite Ratio:    4 - 22/27/28
    Words: 203
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 858
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1384

       Upon the request of OneDarkFlame, I threw in the seven deadly sins, taking it into a different direction.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDevil's Rainbow Revisiteddots

    Sin in the city
    Soul shares are dropping in value,
    and there's a rush to sell
    The one that wears Prada is buying?
    Don't even know what that means,
    and I don't care
    I gotta Gucci Guess my next move
    Way too busy now to even say

    Have you by any chance seen my moral values?
    Can't recall where I put my conscience,
    I had it in my hand a minute or so ago,
    maybe it's lying,
    next to my honesty?
    Doesn't matter
    Fuck it
    Gotta go
    Gotta run
    Meeting Gluttony and Greed for a drink
    Crazy characters those two,
    enough is never enough with them
    After that I'm off on a late night
    conquest with Lust
    Who knows,
    maybe Envy gets jealous
    and wants me back
    Then again,
    not gonna happen!
    Envy wishes!
    I have my Pride you know
    Before I forget;
    saw Wrath today, angry as hell;
    whining on about everything
    Sloth doesn't do
    I pretended to listen,
    but I couldn't care less

    Well, see you later
    I have to travel all the way
    to the end of Devil's Rainbow,
    it takes an eternity
    By the way;
    Like my new look?
    True colours
    is the new black.

    Submitted on 2011-08-05 09:36:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Better, lots better.

    What I would have done, is bring envy to the depths with Leviathon, took pride for a fall with lucifer, and so on. But this was cool.

    It's great how you revised this to a suggestion. Some people think of advice as just filler in the comment.

    | Posted on 2011-08-07 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good though I love the original, but I must say I really do like how you mixed up the seven deadly sins into a unique twist, quite creative and interesting :)

    | Posted on 2011-08-05 00:00:00 | by AltheaLaochra | [ Reply to This ]

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