Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Crush, crush, crush....dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: snacky fish
    ASL Info:    31/male/FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 377/472/111
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 800
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 872



    Description:
       No description needed. Take care.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCrush, crush, crush....dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I forgot what it feels like
    To be shy
    To be a coward
    With out a reason why

    Crush, crush, crush...

    In one fleeting moment
    It's just us
    You look down
    Giving your self away
    I pause and blush
    Regretting what I can't say

    All sense and reason
    Felled as if by treason
    No defence or scar
    Could prepare me for
    How beautiful you are

    No pillow or song
    Can offer a cure
    My manic crush
    Is your allure

    In one fleeting moment
    It's just us
    We both want this
    A night of lust
    But we're defeated
    By a crush

    Crush, crush, crush...

    I forgot what it feels like
    To be shy
    To desire intently
    The poem of my eye




    Submitted on 2011-08-06 01:01:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is a very awesome piece. it feels like a song and i don't know why >_<

    i have something similar to this already on paper. i love the flow and the "crush crush crush"
    amazed on the world play.
    keep it up man.
    | Posted on 2011-08-09 00:00:00 | by w0ords | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well. The imagery was good and it flowed nicely and the emotions were conveyed perfectly.

    Keep up the good work and I'll keep reading

    H
    | Posted on 2011-08-06 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]
      Wonderful piece. very sweet. Good flow.

    No complaints on this at all thanks for sharing,
    Jazmine
    | Posted on 2011-08-06 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192011

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    ME written by jjd
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Giving written by jjd
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    A Drink written by jjd
    This written by Chelebel
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry