Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Senslessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 579
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 299



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSenslessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I would hate to misplace my sense
    of sense
    yet here is is, lost to me
    gone with the
    admonition
    dusty road has patterns looping travelers round and round again
    like Gods chasing their tales
    on the trail hot on the heels of a memory




    Submitted on 2011-08-09 15:54:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      careful of spelling..."senseless"

    and in the one line "here it is"?

    this is like a very short version of emily dickinson's " i felt a funeral in my brain"

    one interpretation of that poem is a person losing her mind...and in that interp..the appearance in the poem is that she is aware of it happening little by little..

    like the gods chasing their tails...hot on the heels of a memory that just keeps getting harder to catch...

    i like "admonition" on its own line...like in robert francis' poem "Hound" where "equivocal" stands alone..

    that one important pivotal part of the poem..that word..having a line by itself...

    good there.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-08-10 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192078

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    prison written by ShyOne
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Cover written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Etiquette written by saartha
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry