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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My eyes are for youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: insphered soul
    ASL Info:    19/M/ Hmmm?
    Elite Ratio:    6.49 - 450/382/94
    Words: 60
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 769
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 338



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy eyes are for youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My eyes reflect the feelings of my heart. Whether drumming with love or banging with hate, the passion of my heart is expressed through a luminescent yet sadly transient ocular gleam. An incandescent glow so alluring as if a prize to be recorded through contact with life, these eyes will wrap you in the warm lambency of my love forever.




    Submitted on 2011-08-09 18:02:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i liked the beginning of this very much...but felt i got too caught up in the words from the middle to the end...as if they draw too much attention to themselves..the flow disappears..and the meaning seems too wrapped around the vocabulary that it loses something for that...i would like to see the last part simplified a bit..not all the wonderful wording taken out..but toned down a bit..so we can think meaning of the overall piece rather than stumble on meaning of each word...

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-08-09 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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