x by Runes

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: x dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	Runes
Elite Ratio:	5.29 - 790/815/281
Words:	128

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	1687
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	781

Description:

-------------------------------------------

It is no coincidence that ground shakes
like our nerves, or that lightning dances
in the same pattern as veins, or that a bullet
can shatter the stillness and make solid thoughts
splatter sideways like blowing August rain...
it is not a mistake that all planets share darkness
and hang like droplets, individually spaced
without sure ties that hold them, yet they
still maintain a constant pace. And stars may fall
but you won't see an empty spot where once
they burned. And you may see the sky change, but
you'll never feel the world turn. It is not by accident
that we are made to drift and not attach
with permanence, so unlike trees...
we were not meant to last.

Submitted on 2011-08-12 07:48:18 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Disappeared in a blink. Barely had
time to think. Reminds me of that Orson
Scott Card book where the aliens plant
the finest members of their race who then become
trees. That way their wisdom is not so
quickly lost. The Title is kewl reminds me of the
x factor, planet x the x files the x men x mas
and the xbox. Your x being just X is of course the
best X

| Posted on 2011-09-11 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
  By the power vested in me
as an instructor of writing
I now pronounce you
"dis" and "illusioned."

may the farce be with ye...
| Posted on 2011-08-15 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
  i swear i read this before.....but i think i'm begginning to understand my asterisk.....are you a paper airplane?
| Posted on 2011-08-15 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
  I began to comment on this the other day, and then my daughter, wanting to get my attention, reached over, grabbed the mouse, and x'd off my page. GRRRR. But somehow fitting.

Coming back to this today, I see it still has the same impact as it did on the first reading.

I really like the meandering form of this, and the subtle, half-rhyme. Using this technique makes the words sound effortless and utterly natural.

That things come in repeating patterns has been a theme of my thoughts lately as well. Since I have the feeling you are like me with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, I'll recommend you look up self-organization of particles, if you haven't already. There is a documentary on it you can find on YouTube. Interesting stuff.

You really do have a way with words. I love how you employ the use of hard vs. soft in your poetry. Here we first have veins and lightning, then suddenly a bullet shatters glass and we are pelted hard with sideways August rain. Feels something like being kicked in the stomach, which leaves me gasping every time.

But then you move back (either on purpose or instinctively) to the soft dark contours of space and the stars that share them. Funny how so many things both around and inside us are spinning and yet we feel like we are standing still.

Excellent write, complete with your trademark ending.

Hope life is as good as it can be,

Erin
| Posted on 2011-08-15 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]
  x marks the spot.
or the ex. or becomes eyes.

your poems always have a way about them. it's like a sad notes hangs on the end. and anyone who has ever truly lived has had to feel the way this makes me feel after i read it. melancholly. with a twinge of matter of facts and coming to terms.

anyhoo...

just keep ripping my heart out why doncha...

| Posted on 2011-08-12 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]
  "lightning dances in the same pattern as veins"

the bullet reference reminds me of suicide..russian roulette...sideways like august rain...

and the planets...share and hang with nothing to tie them..like we do...and when the stars fall there is no empty space in the sky...something replaces it...like when we die...someone replaces us...like the stars...we don't feel the world turn although we know it does...and we see the sky change...we rotate, life rotate..and the more it stays the same the more it changes as do we..

yes, the trees are permanent..but are we?

no...we come and go...we are here for a short while taking up our space in the universe..then we fall out of the sky to be replaced..

i like how you wove all the pieces of this together with your unique voice.

jacob
| Posted on 2011-08-12 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
  We are temporary visitors here....and we are in awe of those things grander than ourselves: the forces of nature as illustrated by those flashes of lightning in the sky, or by the sky itself, or by the stars and the sun that keep us balanced until our time here is up.....it's those things that will be here long after we're gone....

We are connected to nature, yet we're not....

Nice comparison of the lightning to veins...that carry our life blood....

Excellent write, runes....welcome back!
| Posted on 2011-08-12 00:00:00 | by rubie | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

192112

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.