Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Puddledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 470
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 603



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPuddledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Turning tables just for fun,
    not sure if it is raining anymore
    been wet for so long
    and I am out the door
    forgot my poncho in the car with the windows left down

    no noise
    is good noise
    here now
    keep forgetting the letters I'm sending to heaven

    Standing still
    cant wait for the wind to go by
    and stop here
    while we wait together for fate together
    and the drops of grace fill a puddle around my feet

    I sink
    down
    into the reflections of the brilliant sky




    Submitted on 2011-08-15 16:07:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      " the drops of grace fill a puddle around my feet." reminds me of a piece i did called "rain angel" very similar but our meanings are different. But yours left a wonderful visual with a very profound meaning. Mine was just playful and about love. Yours is more about in the moment watching it all happen for the sake of life itself. Very moving and fast pace in the beginning of stanzas until you slow her down at the end to really hit the meanings of the stanza home hard. Great Write.




    Christopher
    | Posted on 2011-08-21 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      keep forgetting ........

    that whole line
    just blows me away
    really takes the wind out of my sails
    and itz so beautiful .


    the section-line that has the word "Fate" ,
    it doesn't destroy the poem at all
    just really feel kinda out of place
    i think if the word "Faith" was written in place of it.i think it would have changed its moods

    then we'd be turning tables again.....
    good write
    | Posted on 2011-08-16 00:00:00 | by Bloodstone | [ Reply to This ]
      Very cool visuals. I liked the playfulness at the beginning and how it flows into a more profound thing towards the end. it's seems like a very natural process - could apply to a lot of things, life, relationships, art, etc. Nice.
    | Posted on 2011-08-16 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      getting wet feels like being alive...i love standing out in the rain...that beautiful rain coming from above...and it soaks me with a feeling of being one with nature..of a sort of a baptism---starting over..

    whimsical piece with a purpose...

    it's "can't" in that one spot..

    the last line of each stanza could be a poem in itself...i like when that happens with poetry.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-08-15 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      "No noise
    Is good noise."


    I enjoyed this line. I enjoyed this whole piece. It was free feeling and breezy.

    "While we wait together for fait togther."
    Very good.
    Thank you for this.
    | Posted on 2011-08-15 00:00:00 | by malcolmknight | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192148

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Push written by JanePlane
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Incubus written by monad
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    This written by Chelebel
    Wavelength written by saartha
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Bond written by saartha
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry