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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Good Intentionsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 77
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 429
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 522



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGood Intentionsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The path of good intentions
    is lined with fragmentation mines.

    To keep the scarlet nails
    from releasing hot entrails
    you spike yourself with lithium
    and sleep alone in the panic room.

    You put a condom on your Glock
    so the bullet won't contaminate
    your
    brain.

    You figure just one shot
    will keep you sane.

    This explains
    the minor key of mockery
    that echos through the morgue.




    Submitted on 2011-08-21 01:30:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love this! I laughed when I read the 7th stanza :)
    Starts of great with a little humor/seriousness in the middle ends very nicely and is filled with awesome images.

    Fav lines-
    The path of good intentions
    is lined with fragmentation mines.

    To keep the scarlet nails
    from releasing hot entrails
    you spike yourself with lithium
    and sleep alone in the panic room.
    -----------------------
    Great job with this!

    Althea~
    | Posted on 2011-08-22 00:00:00 | by AltheaLaochra | [ Reply to This ]
      a swab of isopropyl alcohol
    before the lethal injection

    beads of sweat drop
    and rattles off the cutlery
    in blood red words decorating
    and plating from a 5 star dish

    and you ask for a wake up call
    at 8.00 am
    as you auto-erotically asphyxiate at 7.45
    | Posted on 2011-08-21 00:00:00 | by Pietro | [ Reply to This ]
      "so the bullet won't contaminate your brain"

    like that..needs apostrophe on "won't"--

    but this poem has good metaphor...reminds me of being on the edge...for a long time...feeling suicidal...almost looking for a reason each day not to fire the shot....
    wanting a reason to be her tomorrow...and it also reminded me of Pennsylvania years back...all those high school kids committing suicide...and i just imagine most of them felt they were indestructible...that they could put a bullet in their brain on saturday and be back to school on monday...but the idea of a condom on the glock...

    oh then the brain won't get pregnant with bullet fragments...and everything will be okay...

    i found this piece very very intriguing....and "the echoes in your ear" at the end...

    perfect reverberation for the ending.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-08-21 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Awesome pictures here swinging the senses from one extreme to another. Scalpel like efficiency. "the minor key of mockery ringing in your ears." is another genius use of words that bears thinking about. Glock and condom, a little software for the wrong kind of hardware? As my daddy said, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."
    | Posted on 2011-08-21 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]


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