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    dots Submission Name: To The Girl With The Sunrise Smiledots

    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 75/182/213
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 485
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 936


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    dotsTo The Girl With The Sunrise Smiledots

    If these words had eyes-
    - They would see no illusion; they would see no shame.
    Reconfigured with out guile or pain.
    Spelled out as no better word but imploring-
    Perhaps it was the playful glance of the sky:
    Azure and warm like the summer rain
    that played with her hair a most peculiar way-
    Some of darkness; some of pearlessent bright!
    Yet beneath lies a golden field where light was said to play
    sparkling like memories; dream of night.

    Whisper lightly muse; hear not the woes of this world.
    As long as you can see who is true
    no word is worth listening to-

    Perhaps it was the playful glance of the sky-
    A smile that expelled all darkness to be found.
    A smile that would stand to face the woes of the world.
    A smile that climbed sunrise- shining forever-
    Unparalleled in this life...

    Submitted on 2011-08-24 12:54:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "without guile"

    one word..."without"

    interesting piece...

    sometimes it is better not to hear the woes of the world...sometimes people just drone on and on...and we want to shut our ears to them..and some don't have that option...

    but often every other sense they have is magnified..as well as their beauty...
    i think the second stanza is so good that it could stand on its own as a poem.
    some of the tense and person shifting threw me off a little...but with tweaking...a good piece and i would imagine she would appreciate this.

    | Posted on 2011-08-24 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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