Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Humbleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: armand
    Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 1173/1189/206
    Words: 34
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 625
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 226



    Description:
       This is a rough draft of something I want to be bigger any feedback would be great Remember this is only an idea


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHumbleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Angel, angel
    What have we done
    Faceless names
    In heaven and guns


    Angel,angel
    Where do we go
    Nameless faces
    Caught under the rocks
    In heaven and guns




    Submitted on 2011-08-25 16:58:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      In Heaven and guns? Hmmm
    Well I guess those are two things that you put faith in...am I right? You put faith in a life after this one...and you put faith in guns in order to help sustain this life; protection. Huh. That offers up a nice theme, I think.
    It's kind of ironic; even though you have faith in this afterlife, you still rely on guns in order for you to feel safe. It kind of puts your faith in perspective.
    But guns also end lives so you have a new variable to take into account.
    We can justify our killings with an afterlife as well. We can be comforted when our loved ones are taken by people's cruelty.
    But when is our faith tested...on the battle field when we're killing and dying...in our homes when we're grieving over the loss of someone who was killed by a gun, and then buying a gun for protection?
    It's all very ironic.

    And then you have Faceless names and nameless faces. I like that perspective...very nice.

    I think you have a good start to something.

    Matt
    | Posted on 2011-08-25 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192262

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    This written by Chelebel
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Incubus written by monad
    ME written by jjd
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Bond written by saartha
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Linger written by saartha
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    untitled written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry