Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Humbleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: armand
    Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 1173/1189/206
    Words: 34
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 569
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 226



    Description:
       This is a rough draft of something I want to be bigger any feedback would be great Remember this is only an idea


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHumbleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Angel, angel
    What have we done
    Faceless names
    In heaven and guns


    Angel,angel
    Where do we go
    Nameless faces
    Caught under the rocks
    In heaven and guns




    Submitted on 2011-08-25 16:58:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      In Heaven and guns? Hmmm
    Well I guess those are two things that you put faith in...am I right? You put faith in a life after this one...and you put faith in guns in order to help sustain this life; protection. Huh. That offers up a nice theme, I think.
    It's kind of ironic; even though you have faith in this afterlife, you still rely on guns in order for you to feel safe. It kind of puts your faith in perspective.
    But guns also end lives so you have a new variable to take into account.
    We can justify our killings with an afterlife as well. We can be comforted when our loved ones are taken by people's cruelty.
    But when is our faith tested...on the battle field when we're killing and dying...in our homes when we're grieving over the loss of someone who was killed by a gun, and then buying a gun for protection?
    It's all very ironic.

    And then you have Faceless names and nameless faces. I like that perspective...very nice.

    I think you have a good start to something.

    Matt
    | Posted on 2011-08-25 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192262

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by ShyOne
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Push written by JanePlane
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    prison written by ShyOne
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Love written by saartha
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry