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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Children Are Asleep (rewrite)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Linzi
    ASL Info:    24.f.wales
    Elite Ratio:    5.91 - 80/100/94
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 702
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1400



    Description:
       This is written in memory of the Aberfan Disaster of 1966, when a coal heap slid down a mountain destroying half a village as well as an infant school in which 144 children were killed


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    dotsThe Children Are Asleep (rewrite)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The Children Are Asleep

    They say, ‘Hush! Be silent now, the children are asleep’
    But I can hear their ghostly laughs, from the ones who dare to peep,
    Beneath the angels halo, they rest in slumber deep.

    Walking hand in hand with mommy, I looked up at the heap
    Of blackened sludge and slurry piled on the mountain steep
    She said, ‘Hush, be silent now, there’s people still asleep.’

    Not a bird would sing that morning, not an insect chanced to creep
    As into school we marched, each child still half asleep,
    For shortly we’d been woken from our peaceful slumber deep.

    Upon my classroom window, I watched the raindrops seep
    But there was a shadow on the mountain. The grimmer come to reap
    He said, ‘Hush. Be silent now, you soon shall be asleep.’

    The men that put the coal there, had said it would be cheap
    But their greed has caused the blood shed, the cries, the screams, the weeps.
    Beneath the blackened slurry, little bodies buried deep.

    Today would be my birthday, though I lie in ageless sleep,
    Still my daddy brings me flowers, but my teddy bear he keeps.
    He says, ‘Hush! Be silent now, my Princess, you’re asleep
    Beneath the angels halo, you are safe in slumber deep’.




    Submitted on 2011-08-25 17:04:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is moving...

    i agree with Matt on the "eep" rhyme...but in a way...it is fitting enough to leave it in...

    very sad piece...

    "the grimmer come to reap"

    good phrasing there.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-08-26 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Let me just say that I adore this poem. It is very dear and very well written.
    The whole "eep" rhyme gets a little carried away at times, but for the most part it worked really well.
    I love this concept too.
    And that last stanza was very touching.

    Matt
    | Posted on 2011-08-25 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]


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