Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the beast withindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: RinFurie
    Elite Ratio:    1.97 - 4/9/8
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 500
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 532



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe beast withindots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lust, pain, and blood filled the air
    her steel color eyes closed, she screams
    Blood trickling down her lips
    musked in fear, muscles tense

    the beast inside ripping at her sanity
    the clock ticking away as she prays
    Looking into his eyes, slowly giving in
    pain pulses through her veins, letting out another cry

    her nails turn to claws, flesh covered in fur
    everything breaking and rearranging
    she reaches out for him, a plea for help





    Submitted on 2011-08-27 22:33:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Great piece of poetry, I like the imagery! Great piece!
    | Posted on 2011-09-06 00:00:00 | by Skinwalker | [ Reply to This ]
      Well to be honest... I was expecting an ending so much more different ( based on the beginning you gave us ) .... But I really do enjoy how the end took me off guard. Now ( as I say to everyone ) I am no expert poet.. But I do know a good piece when I see one. Great write. Keep it up. :)
    | Posted on 2011-08-28 00:00:00 | by unwantedlove20 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192289

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    The World written by jjd
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry