Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Us No More...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: KimmyMim
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 223/303/117
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Longing
    Total Views: 555
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 522



    Description:
       ...sigh...off the cuff...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUs No More...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Yesterday,
    I thought my feet were firm
    in the sands of your time
    stood
    still
    I wondered
    if this would last
    forever.

    Today,
    I sifted through
    the hourglass sorting sand
    from a stone
    cold
    heart
    aching
    I knew it was over.

    Eventually,
    I'll drift the other way
    into a lonely sunset
    at low tide
    and search
    for a new dawn.
    I'll push tomorrow through.




    Submitted on 2011-09-02 10:18:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You really made me feel this one

    The last part I would end something like


    At low tide
    I will search for a new dawn

    I don't think the line about pushing thru
    Tomorrow adds any meaning if you are
    Still searching I know you are pushing on


    | Posted on 2013-04-17 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      it feels that way now...but eventually tomorrow will come...and on that new horizon, new love....

    i like the feet firm and hour glass sand thing you have going here.

    never very sure footing in the sand...and it often burns the feet...but the nighttime hardens and cools it...life is like that...

    there are shifts in time, shifts in the sand...shifts in relationship status...and

    we can just hope for a cool breeze and some nice waves to brush our shore.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-09-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192348

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry