[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: From My Burning Soul Eye'sdots

    Author: Mr.Ordinary
    ASL Info:    21/M/Navy
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 64/102/41
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 510
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 560

       just some thoughts, i was gonna write more but i cant stop crying and im sure you got my drift.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFrom My Burning Soul Eye'sdots

    I see the world from my Burning Soul Eye's
    Something fierce I have to cry

    Round and round the world spins
    My skin is full of searing pins

    Oh the ache, oh the pain
    Will I ever feel again?

    Up is down and down is right
    How ever world did I lose this fight?

    Some wounds are old, some are new
    Some infected and some are blue

    If pain and pain is all ill get
    Thats fine by me, use the whip

    Submitted on 2011-09-03 04:04:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      mmm i liked this but the flow at the end doesn't seem to match the beginning. it all makes sence but the rhyming isn't there at the end like it is blantly there in the beginning. anyhew good write i can see what your saying in this. i like the way you painted the picture how your body phyically felt

    | Posted on 2011-09-04 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]