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I am the girl your father sang songs to before he met your mother, the One your mother warned you to never hang out with, the one you talk into going to church who never gets the gist of the sermon, who only studies the colors of holy windows washed in wasted Sunday sunlight. I am the epiphany of that phrase Lonely in a crowd of people you sometimes hang around, the yellow flash of a traffic light before the stable green or red tells you what direction to take your transit life, that splash of rain from a passing tire that ruins the pants you wanted to wear, the girl who listens but doesn't care, the one you don't want to remember once you've memorized everything about her. One day I will be something else, but I am not that something now, so get a poster that is flat and stare at that, it stays the same each time you look, it doesn't change or wink or move when you look away, it doesn't cheat you with false moves, then tell your mother her advice was very good, and she'll be proud of you again once she knows you grew up some and all of this was just for fun. |
| Posted on 2011-09-05 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ] | Yes there is a kind of serious hurt that peeks out between the lines, the whole piece itself seems to flow into you like a river and then bursts you like a dam when you reach the ending. | Fav line would have to definitely be : "the yellow flash of a traffic light before the stable green or red" Dunno but something far deeper speaks through these words to cause a stir inside. Good writing and great reading, as always. :) | Posted on 2011-09-05 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ] | see i look at this a different way i guess...i think the one girl you never write home about, the one your mother warned you about is the speaker at an early more rambunctious age... | in her crazy years...the "i don't care about anything" years... when she stared at the church windows waiting to be free... but over time she has grown up---matured enough to know that she needs to conform a little bit, steady her ship...be a bit more stable..and she does that... i think she is looking at her self in the mirror...it is like her flat poster..although she sees the depth of who she is...she has learned from the many things she has experienced...she is both book smart and street smart... and this poem is marvelous smart to me... and has such attitude it is engrossing...i am meeting my bad self as she is leaving... i'm coming mother...you can be proud of me now. my only change would be leaving out "shit" in the last line...i don't think it adds...there is a humor about using it there, but i think it detracts from a really phenomenal piece-- jacob | Posted on 2011-09-03 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ] | Sounds faintly familiar. | Father and mother and all just like that. But my mother-in-law was more positive. I was married to that one for 25 years and just loved it. I still love because of her. Got divorced 1988 and died 1997. Never married again though: 23 years now. You`ll see one day. Good write and well composed. luv Joachim | Posted on 2011-09-03 00:00:00 | by Joachim | [ Reply to This ] | |