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Lenticular Liaisons


Author: Runes
Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 790 /815 /281
Words: 226
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 986
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
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Description:


Rough draft...


Lenticular Liaisons



I am the girl your father sang songs to before
he met your mother, the One your mother warned
you to never hang out with, the one you talk
into going to church who never gets the gist
of the sermon, who only studies the colors of holy
windows washed in wasted Sunday sunlight.

I am the epiphany of that phrase Lonely in a crowd
of people you sometimes hang around, the yellow
flash of a traffic light before the stable green or red
tells you what direction to take your transit life,
that splash of rain from a passing tire that ruins
the pants you wanted to wear, the girl who listens
but doesn't care, the one you don't want to remember
once you've memorized everything
about her.

One day I will be something else, but I am not
that something now, so get a poster that is flat
and stare at that, it stays the same each time
you look, it doesn't change or wink or move
when you look away, it doesn't cheat you
with false moves, then tell your mother her advice
was very good, and she'll be proud of you again
once she knows you grew up some and all of this
was just for fun.










Submitted on 2011-09-03 13:41:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  
| Posted on 2011-09-05 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
  Yes there is a kind of serious hurt that peeks out between the lines, the whole piece itself seems to flow into you like a river and then bursts you like a dam when you reach the ending.

Fav line would have to definitely be :

"the yellow flash of a traffic light before the stable green or red"

Dunno but something far deeper speaks through these words to cause a stir inside.

Good writing and great reading, as always.

:)
| Posted on 2011-09-05 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
  see i look at this a different way i guess...i think the one girl you never write home about, the one your mother warned you about is the speaker at an early more rambunctious age...

in her crazy years...the "i don't care about anything" years...

when she stared at the church windows waiting to be free...

but over time she has grown up---matured enough to know that she needs to conform a little bit, steady her ship...be a bit more stable..and she does that...

i think she is looking at her self in the mirror...it is like her flat poster..although she sees the depth of who she is...she has learned from the many things she has experienced...she is both book smart and street smart...

and this poem is marvelous smart to me...

and has such attitude it is engrossing...i am meeting my bad self as she is leaving...

i'm coming mother...you can be proud of me now.

my only change would be leaving out "shit" in the last line...i don't think it adds...there is a humor about using it there, but i think it detracts from a really phenomenal piece--

jacob
| Posted on 2011-09-03 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
  Sounds faintly familiar.
Father and mother and all just like that.
But my mother-in-law was more positive.
I was married to that one for 25 years and just loved it.
I still love because of her. Got divorced 1988 and died 1997.

Never married again though: 23 years now.

You`ll see one day.

Good write and well composed.

luv Joachim
| Posted on 2011-09-03 00:00:00 | by Joachim | [ Reply to This ]


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