Description: I live next to the Kennebec river in Hallowell Maine. Every evening I sit along it's banks and share in the wonder of nature with my two boys. On one particular day the reflection of the world around created a beautiful picture that I decided to attempt at describing in this poem. I hope you enjoy this.....Christopher
Bands of color -------------------------------------------
The Kennebec river on an August evening
A hint of blue
Mixed with gray and.....
A bouquet of current
Expanding out into the murky depths
Simple and sweet. Delightfully enchanting in regards to the memories it inspires in us. I wouldn't change much in this piece if anything. It works so well because it captures that emotion like lightning in a bottle. Giving nothing else but that one glimpse to savor for a while. I must disagree with the other comment on how they didn't feel the emotion, well the feeling is inspired by the knowledge of the emotion being inspected. If one hasn't experienced it they couldn't truly capture a fleeting feeling like a memory.
what you did for me here was paint a picture in my mind of what and how you saw the river. it was a pretty vivid picture but i didn't really get much emotion out of the piece. maybe its just my natural bias, wanting a piece to evoke some sort of emotion. nevertheless i have to give props to the imagery.
I like this. I agree with Jacob about the ending lines, so why not keep the musical theme throughout. What instrument do you associate with blue, gray, white, and is the current not musical? Then the whole thing ends in a symphony.