Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Coward's Carapacedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soul-Hugger
    ASL Info:    33/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 401/217/62
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 587
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 847



    Description:
       Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCoward's Carapacedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Stop.
    Rewind.
    Play.
    Stop.
    Rewind.
    Re-Play. Re-Play. Re-Play. Re-

    The cassette is stuck,
    my thumb holds down the button as though
    it has a will of its own.
    Its impression is on my skin. It breathes.
    My body becomes its own separate entity, speaking to me;
    sebaceous glands pop as though to say "rise up
    out of your chair and face the day, glowing"
    heart flutters its stilted message of guilt & remorse, nerves patter & jump their flustered rhythm.

    Life is the rhythm of a drum that i dance to with graceful inaccuracy

    Dance, then, you marionette.
    Shake your limbs as though no-one is watching.
    Flood your room with light from the window.




    Submitted on 2011-09-04 13:07:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Agreed, this piece reminds me of the monotony faced by facing each day, unless we become something shiny and new the day will always be able to paint us with it's monologue of familiarity. I like it.
    | Posted on 2011-09-05 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
      marionettes dance out of sync...

    and you have such a great line with the oxymoron "graceful inaccuracy"

    we've got to stop the rut, break out, do a different dance...

    be spontaneous...we aren't that enough.

    i like this piece and wouldn't change a thing..although i guess i am supposed to say something needs to be fixed, but sorry...don't feel that way

    i like the cassette part especially...cause cassettes are out of date...and being the same over and over gets very tired and out of date too.

    nice piece, erin

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-09-04 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192381

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Love written by saartha
    Fasade written by jackz
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    prison written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Every..... written by jackz
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    True Death written by layDsayD

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry