[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Coward's Carapacedots

    Author: Soul-Hugger
    ASL Info:    33/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 401/217/62
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 630
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 847

       Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCoward's Carapacedots

    Re-Play. Re-Play. Re-Play. Re-

    The cassette is stuck,
    my thumb holds down the button as though
    it has a will of its own.
    Its impression is on my skin. It breathes.
    My body becomes its own separate entity, speaking to me;
    sebaceous glands pop as though to say "rise up
    out of your chair and face the day, glowing"
    heart flutters its stilted message of guilt & remorse, nerves patter & jump their flustered rhythm.

    Life is the rhythm of a drum that i dance to with graceful inaccuracy

    Dance, then, you marionette.
    Shake your limbs as though no-one is watching.
    Flood your room with light from the window.

    Submitted on 2011-09-04 13:07:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Agreed, this piece reminds me of the monotony faced by facing each day, unless we become something shiny and new the day will always be able to paint us with it's monologue of familiarity. I like it.
    | Posted on 2011-09-05 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
      marionettes dance out of sync...

    and you have such a great line with the oxymoron "graceful inaccuracy"

    we've got to stop the rut, break out, do a different dance...

    be spontaneous...we aren't that enough.

    i like this piece and wouldn't change a thing..although i guess i am supposed to say something needs to be fixed, but sorry...don't feel that way

    i like the cassette part especially...cause cassettes are out of date...and being the same over and over gets very tired and out of date too.

    nice piece, erin

    | Posted on 2011-09-04 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Incubus written by monad
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Genesis written by saartha
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    This written by Chelebel
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]