[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Coward's Carapacedots

    Author: Soul-Hugger
    ASL Info:    33/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 409/220/65
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 822
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 847

       Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCoward's Carapacedots

    Re-Play. Re-Play. Re-Play. Re-

    The cassette is stuck,
    my thumb holds down the button as though
    it has a will of its own.
    Its impression is on my skin. It breathes.
    My body becomes its own separate entity, speaking to me;
    sebaceous glands pop as though to say "rise up
    out of your chair and face the day, glowing"
    heart flutters its stilted message of guilt & remorse, nerves patter & jump their flustered rhythm.

    Life is the rhythm of a drum that i dance to with graceful inaccuracy

    Dance, then, you marionette.
    Shake your limbs as though no-one is watching.
    Flood your room with light from the window.

    Submitted on 2011-09-04 13:07:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Agreed, this piece reminds me of the monotony faced by facing each day, unless we become something shiny and new the day will always be able to paint us with it's monologue of familiarity. I like it.
    | Posted on 2011-09-05 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
      marionettes dance out of sync...

    and you have such a great line with the oxymoron "graceful inaccuracy"

    we've got to stop the rut, break out, do a different dance...

    be spontaneous...we aren't that enough.

    i like this piece and wouldn't change a thing..although i guess i am supposed to say something needs to be fixed, but sorry...don't feel that way

    i like the cassette part especially...cause cassettes are out of date...and being the same over and over gets very tired and out of date too.

    nice piece, erin

    | Posted on 2011-09-04 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    No es asi, sabes written by MyPeriodical
    911 written by Soul-Hugger
    El Llanto Los Libra written by MyPeriodical
    abnormal behavior written by cornonthekob
    Somewhere It's Always Morning written by Soul-Hugger
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    A Dream Within a Dream (My favorite EAP poem) written by Debauchery
    Abyss (credit to Carina) written by Debauchery
    undaunted written by teika5
    One OF Millions written by TeslaKoyal
    Understanding the pain of growth written by MyPeriodical
    bleeding part one written by MyPeriodical
    Los Desechados written by MyPeriodical
    Ahogo written by MyPeriodical
    just lonesome. written by MyPeriodical
    The Veil written by Swimming Bird
    Cansansio written by MyPeriodical
    potpourri written by MyPeriodical
    Of A Better Future written by MyPeriodical
    is it nature written by MyPeriodical
    In case you didn't know written by BestxDeceptions
    Endless Suffering of A Demented Past written by TeslaKoyal
    abnormal beliefs written by cornonthekob
    Oblivion written by TheStillSilence
    progress(false) written by cornonthekob
    Buddy written by TeslaKoyal
    Finding Brandy written by MyPeriodical
    Layin Tracks in Here written by teika5
    Escape written by Pyrosis
    No words written by Janesaddiction




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]