Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Prominent Causedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Anneboleyn707
    ASL Info:    18/Female/Pennsylvania
    Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 44/84/67
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 962
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 425



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Prominent Causedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Create in me
    A prominent cause,
    That I may set an agile mind
    To reap in thoughts
    Of worthy mention;
    That I may carry past convention.
    Pushing forth on sturdy thighs,
    I sweat, I struggle towards the wise,
    But I won't dither lightly
    At street-side greetings for too long.
    Create in me a prominent cause,
    That I may yet
    Prove custom wrong.




    Submitted on 2011-09-05 09:33:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      PA huh? good state.

    i find myself relating to this piece greatly. I suppose much of my life has been a waste previously. Too many concerns for myself or self created hells when only time tells what fate is and most times men suffer it is of consequence self created. Life can be a strange march or a muddy marsh but when we have legs we're suppose to use them. Surely people have differences, enough to call them disadvantages but at one point i thought that meant reasons. I suppose now that when my legs work i'd rather have them work and then when they stop working i have reasons. Hard to think about much else when my mind is full of poems. recently i've been taking things in a different context. trying to figure out a way to superseed the conventions both of my own and in my environment, those that which only prove to be limitation. Convention is something i see as a basis for most psychological relationships in that most models of association(indivduals psyche) are created in context of being operational around them. For me these things are a tad bit tedious as most of mythoughts revolve around mnumonic realtionships and people often don't realize the negative affects of common colloqialisms. tried for a while to be withdrawn but i almost became psychotic. So withdrawn that my mind only found hatred. Never hurt anybody with anything but poorly written poetry but i'm beggining to think that even these things matter in our environment. Clever turns of phrase are better than epitomized lines and emulatory lies of not need trials so i work out different styles. sometimes it takes calculative psychology or pollocks approaches to graphemes and a numeration of other things and it's don'e nothing to help the feelings of my physical body. but there's something refreshing about being this close to emotionally healthy. it makes my memory work more accurately and study's a joyous thing as apposed to before where i spent a good bit of my life trying to get out of some divine comedy. it wasn't even the kind that would have people laughing. the type that depressed idiots wrote when the world took the metaphors too seriously, but i'm beginning to recognize that there are spaces in between. starting to really focus and see how these things that once had me so confused and scared are really here to work for me. i guess this reminds me of sweating on my porch listening to steven hawking trying to replace poetry with psychology with the intrajection of mnumonic language sets and dreaming that there are great things i could be accomplishing. I think in the beginning, moreso around 17 i began to think that a normal road wasn't meant for me. listened to alot of modern punk music and took the lyric too direct and it all had a bad affect on mainly me. i'm greatful that in most manners i wasn't like most to project the extent of problems going on in my head and even in moments when by comparison to my normal mode of actions where in it would appear as if i had embellished i don't think i affected others too drastically. i guess it all comes down to being able to readapt to society. i'd like to start a prominent cause. maybe something like a living poets society. a group of people working for health of themselves and others around them. idk i guess this just got me thinking. sorry for the glob of ranting.
    | Posted on 2011-09-05 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      two directions this took me..

    like an inventor who defies thinking within the box and comes up with something new....

    and also that feeling we had in the 60's of non-conforming...of thinking outside the establishment...wanting something different than what was given us...

    wanting to break new ground...go where..as they star trek "no man or woman has gone before"

    compelling piece .
    in the "i sweat" line...i would get rid of the second "i" unnecessary...and the "i" in the next line...they both disturb the flow...

    and this has that "marching forward" or "marching to a different drum" feel that works so well.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-09-05 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192388

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    ME written by jjd
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry