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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Prominent Causedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Anneboleyn707
    ASL Info:    18/Female/Pennsylvania
    Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 44/84/67
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 748
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 425



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Prominent Causedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Create in me
    A prominent cause,
    That I may set an agile mind
    To reap in thoughts
    Of worthy mention;
    That I may carry past convention.
    Pushing forth on sturdy thighs,
    I sweat, I struggle towards the wise,
    But I won't dither lightly
    At street-side greetings for too long.
    Create in me a prominent cause,
    That I may yet
    Prove custom wrong.




    Submitted on 2011-09-05 09:33:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      PA huh? good state.

    i find myself relating to this piece greatly. I suppose much of my life has been a waste previously. Too many concerns for myself or self created hells when only time tells what fate is and most times men suffer it is of consequence self created. Life can be a strange march or a muddy marsh but when we have legs we're suppose to use them. Surely people have differences, enough to call them disadvantages but at one point i thought that meant reasons. I suppose now that when my legs work i'd rather have them work and then when they stop working i have reasons. Hard to think about much else when my mind is full of poems. recently i've been taking things in a different context. trying to figure out a way to superseed the conventions both of my own and in my environment, those that which only prove to be limitation. Convention is something i see as a basis for most psychological relationships in that most models of association(indivduals psyche) are created in context of being operational around them. For me these things are a tad bit tedious as most of mythoughts revolve around mnumonic realtionships and people often don't realize the negative affects of common colloqialisms. tried for a while to be withdrawn but i almost became psychotic. So withdrawn that my mind only found hatred. Never hurt anybody with anything but poorly written poetry but i'm beggining to think that even these things matter in our environment. Clever turns of phrase are better than epitomized lines and emulatory lies of not need trials so i work out different styles. sometimes it takes calculative psychology or pollocks approaches to graphemes and a numeration of other things and it's don'e nothing to help the feelings of my physical body. but there's something refreshing about being this close to emotionally healthy. it makes my memory work more accurately and study's a joyous thing as apposed to before where i spent a good bit of my life trying to get out of some divine comedy. it wasn't even the kind that would have people laughing. the type that depressed idiots wrote when the world took the metaphors too seriously, but i'm beginning to recognize that there are spaces in between. starting to really focus and see how these things that once had me so confused and scared are really here to work for me. i guess this reminds me of sweating on my porch listening to steven hawking trying to replace poetry with psychology with the intrajection of mnumonic language sets and dreaming that there are great things i could be accomplishing. I think in the beginning, moreso around 17 i began to think that a normal road wasn't meant for me. listened to alot of modern punk music and took the lyric too direct and it all had a bad affect on mainly me. i'm greatful that in most manners i wasn't like most to project the extent of problems going on in my head and even in moments when by comparison to my normal mode of actions where in it would appear as if i had embellished i don't think i affected others too drastically. i guess it all comes down to being able to readapt to society. i'd like to start a prominent cause. maybe something like a living poets society. a group of people working for health of themselves and others around them. idk i guess this just got me thinking. sorry for the glob of ranting.
    | Posted on 2011-09-05 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      two directions this took me..

    like an inventor who defies thinking within the box and comes up with something new....

    and also that feeling we had in the 60's of non-conforming...of thinking outside the establishment...wanting something different than what was given us...

    wanting to break new ground...go where..as they star trek "no man or woman has gone before"

    compelling piece .
    in the "i sweat" line...i would get rid of the second "i" unnecessary...and the "i" in the next line...they both disturb the flow...

    and this has that "marching forward" or "marching to a different drum" feel that works so well.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-09-05 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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