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    dots Submission Name: guide me dots

    Author: afra
    ASL Info:    15/female/canada
    Elite Ratio:    1.33 - 4/9/19
    Words: 302
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 598
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1643


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsguide me dots

    wanted a little love but all i get was hate ,
    searching for a light but darkness seems to be my fate ,

    the shadows of darkness have destroyed my lifes light ,
    my pillows are soaked with tears every night ,

    i try to win but i lose this unending game ,
    from outside i m smiling but inside i dont feel the same,

    emptiness caught my body and my soul ,
    love is just creating a dark hole ,

    i look at the mirror just to find a smile ,
    but disappointed through out my life ,

    my smile has become my silent pain ,
    i m wishing that those good time could happen once again ,

    in my own tears i have been drowned ,
    like am unopened gift i have been thrown,

    the more i live the more i know ,
    that all my dreams are burred under the snow ,

    that came from those cold hearts ,
    who love to tear my wishes apart ,

    i m tired of pretending i just want to be me ,
    when will this detention be over ?? i want to be free ,

    this is hurting the way deep ,
    if this is a night mere i want to end this sleep ,

    my mind just keep replying those special movements ,
    but my feelings get worst it does not cause improvement ,

    alone i am shaking with the fright ,
    in this sleepless lonely nights ,

    cant u see my frown ,
    oh God! please look down ,

    tell me that i m wrong ,
    my destiny is not far long ,

    i m looking at the sky please guide me ,

    Submitted on 2011-09-05 18:43:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Your words pain a painful picture. There is so much potential with this piece. I like some of the more rhymic stanzas a lot. For example:

    the shadows of darkness have destroyed my lifes light ,
    my pillows are soaked with tears every night ,

    Here's an idea from another image:

    "...from outside i m smiling but inside i dont feel the same"

    consider something like:

    from outside I smile while inside writhes in pain


    while outside I smile, my inside's not the same

    Thanks for sharing this piece!
    | Posted on 2011-09-16 00:00:00 | by EW61 | [ Reply to This ]

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