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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Prismsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Clayman
    ASL Info:    28 - getting late
    Elite Ratio:    6.34 - 609/327/167
    Words: 58
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 360
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 416



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPrismsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    We buried our whispers in the folds of the night,
    denying sunrise's existence
    and accepting wind and sound
    as promises of salvation with fluttering eyes.

    We walked into the silver chasm
    and returned wise, old.
    Smiles were virginal
    over unprejudiced cracked lips
    and for a moment I could see
    you were never standing beside

    me




    Submitted on 2011-09-13 03:11:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hi Shaun good write and it says more that meets the eye.
    We tend to "say words" that come to though. Do we realize where that "thought" comes from?
    It comes from whispers buried in the night where the Heart speaketh from. The "night of the Soul" is troubled and wishes not sunrise to arrive...yet. When the Heart is ready, the Light will shine again.

    Baie goeie skrywe Shaun met kragtige woorde. Mense behoort te poog om eerder die dieptes van die hart te peil as om met wereld woorde te vergelyk - dit werk nie so met my nie.
    Hierdie is soos ek dit ervaar. Hou so aan jy vorder verbasend goed met woorde. groete Joachim.

    We buried our whispers in the folds of the night,
    denying sunrise's existence
    The wind hath bound her up in her wings, and they shall be ashamed because of their sacrifices.

    and accepting wind and sound
    as promises of salvation with fluttering eyes.
    For, lo, he that formeth the mountains, and createth the wind, and declareth unto man what is his thought, that maketh the morning darkness, and treadeth upon the high places of the earth, The LORD, The God of hosts, is his name.

    We walked into the silver chasm
    And besides all these things, a great chasm has been fixed between us and you, so that those desiring to pass from here to you are not able, nor can they pass from there to us.

    and returned wise, old.
    And they say, It is hopeless. For we will walk after our own thoughts, and we will each one do according to the stubbornness of his evil heart.

    Smiles were virginal
    over unprejudiced cracked lips
    and for a moment I could see
    you were never standing beside
    For this our heart is faint; our eyes are dim for these things.

    me
    .. If you have come to me for peace, to help me, I have a heart to unite with yours. But if to betray me to my foe, there is no violence in my hand;

    Regards Joachim
    | Posted on 2011-09-14 00:00:00 | by Joachim | [ Reply to This ]
      I could never dislike a poem that begins with a line like your first one. It's a great hook.

    This seems to be speaking about one of those life-changing realizations that comes unwittingly after some kind of change.

    It's painful when you turn around to see if your partner is following and all you see is a shadow, suddenly knowing they were never there. Luckily here, at least for the moment, there seems to be an acceptance of this fact; perhaps a bit of understanding of the reasons for it too.

    I think there are those of us with such a deep desire to connect with others that nothing short of being inside that person would suffice. There will always be a lack, a vacuum that can never be filled.

    Accepting that gap is just one of the things we need to do, however I believe that people touch us despite.

    Erin
    | Posted on 2011-09-13 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]
      why not?

    why couldn't we go back to the virginal smiles and lack of prejudice...kids aren't prejudice, they are taught it.

    in this poem the speaker imagines a world like that...but then realizes...

    the other was never standing next to him and never will..

    i really like the separation of "me" in this..it works wonderfully to portray the aloneness that can be felt when one is shunned by others.

    and the first part of the poem is so promising... the whispers of prejudice being buried in the night...almost as if in the dark i will be your friend when nobody can see us...but in the daylight...you will realize, i am not and never was really next to you.

    you are getting so strong in your words, Shawn!

    your latest pieces are really good.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-09-13 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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