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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Vortexdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 419/435/131
    Words: 74
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 312
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 454



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVortexdots
    -------------------------------------------




    He slipped his hand inside my shirt and brushed against my nipple.
    I quavered.
    It was as if I had forgotten all that I was
    and now I remembered
    the ingenuity that was me.
    the raging, swirling vortex of contradiction.
    The out of control control freak,
    the depressed extrovert,
    the gasping for every breath as she pushes death down her throat--
    me.
    Then I woke up.




    Submitted on 2011-09-13 17:26:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Sometimes we become strangers to ourselves when we become infatuated husks of lust.

    Then when it's over, and we "wake up" we feel as if a piece of us died in the moment. Sexual urges: The never quenching, nevery dying urges. Not much you can do about it. And in the moment, everything feels right, but when it's over you feel sick. Sometimes. Depends on who you're with when you wake up.

    I like this piece, it's very honest.

    Matt
    | Posted on 2011-09-13 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]
      if only i could be in real life what i am in dreams...

    he woke something in me, even if it was just imagining his touch...

    my rigidness, my anal retentive self...that perfectness i always sought went away in an instant...and a different sort of perfect grabbed me...

    just before my eyes opened to find
    he wasn't there.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-09-13 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192495

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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