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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tastefuldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 412
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 406



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTastefuldots
    -------------------------------------------


    I picture myself in a hammock floating high above the sea, sifting the breeze and the scents of sweet sugary textured life

    I am almost nonexistent
    almost alive

    treating space around me like an intimate kiss
    melody plays in my ears that plants seeds of memories and grows a pleasant and harmonious pining heart
    for the moment at hand is
    satisfied




    Submitted on 2011-09-15 10:08:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi, I love this one. It's very well done. You know, it might be fun to play with enjambment on this one. Something like:

    I picture myself in a hammock
    floating high above the sea,
    sifting the breeze and the scents
    of sweet sugary textured life

    I am almost
    nonexistent
    almost
    alive

    treating space around me
    like an intimate kiss
    melody plays in my ears
    that plants seeds of memories
    and grows a pleasant
    and harmonious pining heart
    for the moment at hand is
    satisfied

    or


    treating space around me like
    an intimate kiss
    melody plays
    in my ears
    that plants seeds of memories
    and grows a pleasant
    and harmonious pining heart
    for the moment at hand is
    satisfied

    or


    treating space
    around me
    like an intimate kiss
    melody plays in my ears
    that plants seeds of memories
    and grows
    a pleasant and harmonious
    pining heart
    for the moment
    at hand is
    satisfied

    It's just fun to play with spacing sometimes, even though it merely slows down your words; however, I've been criticised for being too heavily enjambed.

    Amy

    | Posted on 2011-09-17 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      Happy day girl!

    LOVED this piece as I felt myself swinging in the hammock and I love pieces takINg me places with Smiles to Share ;-) Great!
    | Posted on 2011-09-15 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I am almost nonexistent
    almost alive

    treating space around me like an intimate kiss

    Nice.

    As Jimi Hendrix said,
    "Excuse me while I kiss the sky . . . "

    Tastefully done.

    I thought you might get a kick out of this link:

    http://mayflo.com/appliances/contemporary-outdoor-hanging-pod-cozy-and-relaxing.htm
    | Posted on 2011-09-15 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]


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