Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tastefuldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 385
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 406



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTastefuldots
    -------------------------------------------


    I picture myself in a hammock floating high above the sea, sifting the breeze and the scents of sweet sugary textured life

    I am almost nonexistent
    almost alive

    treating space around me like an intimate kiss
    melody plays in my ears that plants seeds of memories and grows a pleasant and harmonious pining heart
    for the moment at hand is
    satisfied




    Submitted on 2011-09-15 10:08:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi, I love this one. It's very well done. You know, it might be fun to play with enjambment on this one. Something like:

    I picture myself in a hammock
    floating high above the sea,
    sifting the breeze and the scents
    of sweet sugary textured life

    I am almost
    nonexistent
    almost
    alive

    treating space around me
    like an intimate kiss
    melody plays in my ears
    that plants seeds of memories
    and grows a pleasant
    and harmonious pining heart
    for the moment at hand is
    satisfied

    or


    treating space around me like
    an intimate kiss
    melody plays
    in my ears
    that plants seeds of memories
    and grows a pleasant
    and harmonious pining heart
    for the moment at hand is
    satisfied

    or


    treating space
    around me
    like an intimate kiss
    melody plays in my ears
    that plants seeds of memories
    and grows
    a pleasant and harmonious
    pining heart
    for the moment
    at hand is
    satisfied

    It's just fun to play with spacing sometimes, even though it merely slows down your words; however, I've been criticised for being too heavily enjambed.

    Amy

    | Posted on 2011-09-17 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      Happy day girl!

    LOVED this piece as I felt myself swinging in the hammock and I love pieces takINg me places with Smiles to Share ;-) Great!
    | Posted on 2011-09-15 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I am almost nonexistent
    almost alive

    treating space around me like an intimate kiss

    Nice.

    As Jimi Hendrix said,
    "Excuse me while I kiss the sky . . . "

    Tastefully done.

    I thought you might get a kick out of this link:

    http://mayflo.com/appliances/contemporary-outdoor-hanging-pod-cozy-and-relaxing.htm
    | Posted on 2011-09-15 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192509

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry