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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: creaky skull songdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Clayman
    ASL Info:    28 - getting late
    Elite Ratio:    6.34 - 609/327/167
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 380
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 765



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscreaky skull songdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Today will be another song
    unhurried and soft, flowing along
    string
    to become something beautiful,
    something more than a rusty tune
    living in an old can.

    And maybe I can plug in the phone
    your name has become
    for times when
    I tire of stories about soul-mates
    and rainbow-lit windy roads
    shifting to become rainy days
    without pancakes
    and smiles tucked into glass envelopes.

    Your playful cryptic allure
    splashes into my hungry heart,
    quieting all rumors of pain
    with a touch of dahlias and seashells
    to fill my forgotten tins
    with the taste of strawberry kisses

    so hollow sleep will haunt me no more..




    Submitted on 2011-09-16 05:19:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      interesting and somehow unsatisfying which kkeps a person thinking on it. many of the lines were original and had an odd reference of view or way of seeing situations that allows me to see how another person thinks. so i liked the piece. it begins snd the firdst stanza reminds me of lyrics to a laid back unplugged guitar and light percuss with maybe a clarinet or horn doodling along...then it seems to tighten up into a sharper lists of needs/wants/ unfulfilled ideas/ exasperation/ sarcasm/ anger/ butr all un--stressed, noted, pinned down but not able to vex you into drama or display beyond civil speecjh. much different than my wordy approach valuable. thabnks koster
    | Posted on 2011-10-20 00:00:00 | by koster | [ Reply to This ]
      i think the rusty tin can is my head..and that song that is trapped there....

    it is about you, it reminds me of us...

    i want pancakes and strawberries again...i want to taste you, love you, wake up with you

    and eat breakfast with you...metaphorically...

    but literally....i want restful sleep...and if you're beside me...i can find that.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-09-16 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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    12. Does it feel original?



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