Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To Echo dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 350
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 621



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo Echo dots
    -------------------------------------------


    my words are so much simpler than yours
    my words try and mean just what they say

    your words lurk behind shadows, come from trees
    they hide inside other words or deep in caves

    and while my words seem to slip from my lips
    or sometimes drip down my chin in a great mess

    your words cry to me from mountain tops away
    calling me to recall what I have said

    my story is one many could recite
    my words stick to pages here and stay

    your story is only known to you
    your words simply come then float away




    Submitted on 2011-09-16 14:16:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with Jake that ,is, is troubling.
    If that ,is, was an ,are, things would be
    much better.
    However regardless of the ,is, inconvenience
    I was quite captivated not only
    by the implementation of the Echo effect
    but the circumlocution of implied misdirection
    portrayed by lurking shadow and cave
    made me a bit misty-eyed.

    I get it now 'is' refers to story not words.
    I may now be of the opinion that this poem
    acts rather like an opioid. In that I am now
    even more bemused and misty-eyed.
    | Posted on 2011-09-17 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      next to last line "...yours are only known to you"--should be "are" rather than "is"

    i so much like this poem....yes, poets hide behind big words, metaphors, intricate language that becomes such a puzzle, the average reader feels the conundrum and gives up after a couple reads...

    but some poets are just up front...simple language twisted into telling phrases, a straightforward showing of the truth...something easily related to by others...poetry for the common man...

    and that is good stuff...

    i like every word of this.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-09-16 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192526

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Records I written by Raphael
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The World written by jjd
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Cover written by saartha
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Shi written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry