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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To Echo dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 341
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 621



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo Echo dots
    -------------------------------------------


    my words are so much simpler than yours
    my words try and mean just what they say

    your words lurk behind shadows, come from trees
    they hide inside other words or deep in caves

    and while my words seem to slip from my lips
    or sometimes drip down my chin in a great mess

    your words cry to me from mountain tops away
    calling me to recall what I have said

    my story is one many could recite
    my words stick to pages here and stay

    your story is only known to you
    your words simply come then float away




    Submitted on 2011-09-16 14:16:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with Jake that ,is, is troubling.
    If that ,is, was an ,are, things would be
    much better.
    However regardless of the ,is, inconvenience
    I was quite captivated not only
    by the implementation of the Echo effect
    but the circumlocution of implied misdirection
    portrayed by lurking shadow and cave
    made me a bit misty-eyed.

    I get it now 'is' refers to story not words.
    I may now be of the opinion that this poem
    acts rather like an opioid. In that I am now
    even more bemused and misty-eyed.
    | Posted on 2011-09-17 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      next to last line "...yours are only known to you"--should be "are" rather than "is"

    i so much like this poem....yes, poets hide behind big words, metaphors, intricate language that becomes such a puzzle, the average reader feels the conundrum and gives up after a couple reads...

    but some poets are just up front...simple language twisted into telling phrases, a straightforward showing of the truth...something easily related to by others...poetry for the common man...

    and that is good stuff...

    i like every word of this.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-09-16 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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