Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Missives of the Deepdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 393
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 763



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMissives of the Deepdots
    -------------------------------------------



    Tonight as you enter
    that dystopian adventure
    beyond the pale-wall
    that most misconstrue to be sleep
    know that I shall have your back.
    I will be your personal Spartan set
    with spear and shield held high
    ready to fortify you with
    undivine attention.
    As you recline with inward-looking
    eyes and gaze upon midnights
    violet madness.
    Remember I am bound
    within your shadow.
    I will render
    not tender kisses
    but steel in my missives
    personally modified to keep
    you sighing deep.
    I cannot be made of tenderness
    until together we reach
    that mystic state
    known as
    the crack of dawn.





    Submitted on 2011-09-17 02:45:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The idea of a guardian angel in one's dreams isn't so novel,
    but a Spartan? Brilliant twist.

    Spear and shield among a dystopian landscape, conveyed to the dreamer in steel proclamations...quite a stark path to tread towards dawn.

    It would be a major drag to have one's dreams controlled or regulated in any way...and a Spartan would be handy to have for personal defense in such a case.

    Interesting write.
    Thanks for the read.


    | Posted on 2011-09-25 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      I can ditto the "I do kind of feel that dystopia is difficult for me to fathom . " that Bruce mentioned, although as Czech/English I kind of have him bracketed geographically.
    "beyond the pale-wall" is rather neat. Crack of dawn as a mystic state... somewhat sublime genius, obviously divine in origin. Else that or it's just some dirty sexual innuendo. Reader's choice. Love those choices.
    | Posted on 2011-09-24 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      Dale :
    Did I ever tell you I wrote a book called "Id Conclusion" ? I really relate to your take on the subject here . I do kind of feel that dystopia is difficult for me to fathom . After all I'm German , I live for the fight . Defend her with far flung missives of steel , oh yah , I've been known to strop my buck knife on the strings of my guitar before composing love songs . Believe me I really feel you here . I don't know , just my two cents worth . I really seem to relate your feelings here , contrarily I like it better when my women fight by my side . Maybe thats chauvinistic but I actually expect them to want to . Maybe I've been watching too many reruns of Xena .

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2011-09-18 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192532

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    This written by Chelebel
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Push written by JanePlane
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    untitled written by Chelebel
    To written by SavedDragon
    Linger written by saartha
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Giving written by jjd
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry