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    dots Submission Name: murdered to lovedots

    Author: Clayman
    ASL Info:    28 - getting late
    Elite Ratio:    6.34 - 609/327/167
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 345
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 449


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    dotsmurdered to lovedots

    Splayed fingers confront aged barbs,
    pushing the wall of thorns to taste truth.
    My blood will spew upon this molted soil,
    cultivating a new spine and bones
    to hold you when you cry.

    Cracking your skull with a brick of love
    will let the black out and the colors breathe
    hypodermic and contagious inside you,
    forcing out pain and murdering crows
    as I teach you how to love again..

    Submitted on 2011-09-19 05:19:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow, what a way to say...i have to kill you to love you... i have to murder all the bad stuff you feel from the past so you can love again...i have to free you..."let the black out so the colors can breathe again" great line there.

    teach you to love again...

    reminds me of people especially one...she did not trust...i had to remind her often..'i'm not him"

    well expressed...many kick-ass phrases in this.

    i see the first part as the speaker needing to learn to love again...and then the second part he is speaking to her and telling her he will help her do the same...

    two people rising from the ashes....picking up the pieces of their shattered lives...and joining in a pact of trust.

    | Posted on 2011-09-19 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Ouch. That was way more vivid and gory than anything those pseudo-goth teenagers can write lol

    no but seriously, very powerful.

    I do love the concept "cracking your skull with a brick of love" wow.

    My favorite line was the "letting out the black" line; good stuff.

    In that first stanza I had this image of someone farming, almost. Maybe driving the spade of love deep into the heart of the virgin soil.

    Very captivating imagery.

    | Posted on 2011-09-19 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]

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