[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Winter Once Againdots

    Author: awastedsky
    ASL Info:    22/f/AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 116/151/98
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 495
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1039

       you know.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWinter Once Againdots

    I left the house with a knit scarf round my neck
    that my best friend from childhood knitted
    my favorite color
    imperfections visible
    but only if you look closely.

    And I realized
    as I traipsed outside
    that exhalations were visible and
    I should probably remember to
    unearth my mittens from their summer hiding place
    in the garage downstairs.

    In Alaska, you learn to smell the snow, just a few weeks before you can see it on the mountains.
    And the weather silences
    even the most persistent cacauphony
    of traffic sounds on the nearby highway
    the traveler
    even with three hundred thousand people imposing their city-esque lifestyles on your backyard.

    And I realized, as I embraced the season change, for better or for worse
    my solemn divide
    this time
    may not just be the cycle of life
    but a representation of
    the beginning of my end.

    Submitted on 2011-09-21 04:53:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      There is so much bitter truth here I find it heartbreaking in a way, so much that makes one unravel from a distance.

    I dislike winter.
    It doesn't snow here, though; it only rains.
    Enough to want to make one shrivel away.

    This is wonderful writing.
    | Posted on 2011-09-21 00:00:00 | by trinityfinger | [ Reply to This ]
      something tells me i should dress for the end...i need to be prepared for my winter....i have fooled myself long enough that summer would be endless, that i may live forever ...but amidst the sounds of the traffic, of people doing their daily routines...the sound of everything moving forward...this will be the last fall for me...there is the scent of mortality, my mortality...

    except for the "knit" and then "knitted" in the first two lines, which feels accidentally redundant...this piece feels so powerful to me...the analogy works quite well...

    especially love the alaska stanza...

    | Posted on 2011-09-21 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]