Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lively mortalitydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AbsolutelyLost
    ASL Info:    27/M/India
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 54/41/33
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 582
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 675



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLively mortalitydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Life is but a solitary confinement,
    Of a soul in a mortal entrapment.
    Death is but a merry incantation,
    Of that soul in celestial rejuvenation.

    Heaven is but a lustful imagination,
    For one drunk in harmonic recitation.
    Hell is but a sinister creation,
    For one sloshed in demonic retribution.

    Zombies are but lost souls,
    Who failed to find their goals.
    Angels are but reveled souls,
    Who lived and found corpus trolls.

    Rebirth is but another chance,
    To understand an immortal dance.
    Redeath is but another trance,
    To let go a blissful parlance.




    Submitted on 2011-09-21 13:52:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The flow, the feel, the thoughts, the rhymes, pure poetry. The meaning in this really speaks out to me especially these lines---->

    Life is but a solitary confinement,
    Of a soul in a mortal entrapment.
    Death is but a merry incantation,
    Of that soul in celestial rejuvenation.
    ---------------------------

    Rebirth is but another chance,
    To understand an immortal dance.
    Redeath is but another trance,
    To let go a blissful parlance.
    ------------------------------------

    You know I sometimes feel life is a solitary confinement, the ups and downs, the long journey that usually seems to go no where but to another agonizing battle. Which leads to your other line about death, I extremely agree is like an everlasting escpae from the hardships of life into another world/ life instead its eternally blissful :)

    Just some thoughts I really, really like this makes you think about life in a whole 'nother perspective.

    Fave and nicely written!

    Althea~
    | Posted on 2011-09-22 00:00:00 | by AltheaLaochra | [ Reply to This ]
      I like your poem. Very strong and the concept is strong in a reincarnation and you have thought about life after death or life after life. The writing style here is very mature and the 4 line rhyme into 4 stanzas is well placed making alot of sense structurally. very great and thought out piece. I enjoyed reading it. my favorite two lines are,
    "Hell is but a sinister creation,
    For one sloshed in demonic retribution." i agree alot with that point of view.




    Christopher
    | Posted on 2011-09-22 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting. I like this idea, I think it is original. The stucture wasn't my fav, I like a lot FEEL to a piece.

    | Posted on 2011-09-21 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    192610

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    The World written by jjd
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry